baguettes: (BASTILLE)
[personal profile] baguettes
[ Another ordinary day in Discedo. The moon(s) went down, the sun came up, the weird monsters in the forest made disturbing noises (that’s what she said). Life carried on as par usual.

What may also be in the realm of normality is the comm turning on to see France in the midst of some over emotional theatrics. Which really wasn’t all that strange really, nor was it to see a frantic America pinching (read: trying to pinch with his not-chainsaw hand) at his stomach. You get those two together and their collective stupidity is amplified. (This is why they are no longer allowed to sit next to each other at meetings. The sexual harassment suits increase and their gossiping proves a distraction no matter what the topic.)

Except it isn’t a normal day. It isn’t France’s usual histrionic temper tantrums, nor is it America’s typical bouts of self-consciousness. It’s the time space continuum/God/Loki/Andrew Hussie/the Devil (also Andrew Hussie)/the Illuminati/the Scientists/who even knows what playing a horrible, horrible joke upon the idiotic duo.

Oh, yeah, and there’s talking too. Whining, actually, and a lot of it. There’s a nasal American twang attempting to wrap itself around uniquely French words, and a horrible, croaking dialect trying to utilise hippie-bro speak.

--yeah? See how you like this! Ahem! [ France’s (read: America in France’s body) voice rises to be as obnoxiously shrill and as melodramatic as possible. The French accent impedes words that were obviously meant to have a Southern twang to it, so really he sounds like a drunk who just got jaw surgery. ] Ohonhonhon, bonjour Discedo! I’m France, of course you all know me as the resident harassment lawsuit waiting to happen and bear impersonator--and how easy they are to impersonate! Look at my hairy chest! The unshaven fuzz around lips that don’t know when vowels are supposed to end and new words begin! If you look closely, maybe you can see a little bit of omelette in it, or the baguette I’ve stashed inside it for later.

Arrêtes! Maintenant, [ “Ah-ret”, “Man-teh-nant”, ] Stop it! This is horrible, this is the worst thing that has happened yet! I thought that this would be a nice break from l’Angleterre, except now I have to deal with you! [ Two can play at this game, Americance. Crossed arms fall to his sides and the ‘heroic!!!’ nation strikes a pose, arms akimbo, chin up, hands on his hips with a look of victory written across his features. And for the one and only time in his life, Framerica can do a proper imitation of a terrible Texan accent: ] My name is America and I’m the hero!!! ☆☆☆☆ I like to take credit for things that I have not done and meddle in everyone else’s business! Also I think I look like a sexy man like Johnny Depp but in all actuality, I resemble the back end of a pig! Oh and my food, my food is the worst part about me! I like to eat lard out of buckets with a spoon!

[ Americance’s retort is to pull a rose out of his pants. I presume France’s body already had pants on them (or if they didn’t America had to put some on so he would stop staring at France’s dick, and you just know this argument is going to end in a literal dick measuring contest). He brings it up to under his nose, tries to strike a pose only seen in the streets of Paris and in animes, but he falters and makes a face. ]

Discedo, I would just like you to know that I am a literal bed of roses, and they all smell like sweaty dick. Which, by the way, doesn’t quite measure up to America’s. Ohonhonshootmenow this fucking laugh. I wish I could stop, I really do.

[ Framerica, at this point, has had just about enough of Americance’s jeers, and he all but jumps at the other nation, knocking him out of his chair. On his way down Americance lets out a yelp. As soon as he hits the floor, he’s making odd noises, somewhere between howling with fury and cackling. The upshot is in their current bodies, France could beat the shit out of America. The downside is, of course, France was gonna feel that pummelling when they fixed this.

Which they were going to do. Because like hell France was gonna be fat forever.

As America is getting his face pounded in, all sorts of squawking noises are coming out of his newly French mouth and, even worse, more insults and mocking. Things along the line of “Careful France! I know you wanna enjoy my hot body but this is bordering on something even incest is gonna shake its head at!” and “Not so rough, I don’t wanna catch something!” and “THIS IS HOW YOU GET PEOPLE PREGNANT! I DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’ ‘BOUT BIRTHIN’ NO BABIES!” as well as the ever classic “Help! Help! I’m being oppressed!” Wait, Holy Grail wasn’t made in the 1960s? Neither were chainsaw hands. Don’t question me.

Let it never be said that America has an outstanding sense of self-preservation. (Either that or he simply likes the idea of France’s face getting marred by his own outrage. It’s a funny thought. That may be why even amongst his grimaces and attempts to fight back, a grin occasionally flickers on his face.)

So after maybe two or three punches, the Frenchman-trapped-in-a-living-fat-suit rolls off of the American-trapped-in-a-twink-suit and falls back on the ground, heaving, angry, frustrated, and disgusted with the other man. Only then does it occur to him that heyyy, this communicator is on! Right now! Recording!

Putain! Mon Descartes, c’est quoi putain?!

[ At which point you can hear America muttering in the background: ] Stop using my voice to summon the legions of Hell. I’m not leading a demon army nowhere. You get Sherman back in charge, then we’ll talk.

[ Framerica scrambles to grab the communicator, and shuts it off.

Then hurls it at Americance. But no one else gets to see that.
itsfondue: (Roughed up)
[personal profile] itsfondue
[If you're around Discedo, you might notice one very patriotic looking soldier running down the street at a rather fast speed. Well, fast for a human that is. He doesn't look like he'll stop anytime soon, so forgive his rudeness if he runs by without saying hi.

Anyway, everything seems to be working out for him. He even jumps a few times, crossing a rather large distance with each jump. Feeling a little more confident that his abilities have returned, Steve starts to run a little faster. However, this all ends when he sharply turns the corner. He begins to lose his balance and stumbles along the road before crashing through the front window of a convenience store.

Hopefully you weren't picking anything up there.]

Ow... [He sits up and looks around, feeling guilty about ruining another store. Perhaps he should have waited longer...]

[ooc: Steve recently had his chip removed and started to practice in the streets. However, because he is the most graceful super soldier that ever lived, he just ruined one of the windows.

dustedsunlight: (« [Confused] What's your question?)
[personal profile] dustedsunlight
[There's a little bit of feedback before the comm clicks to life, followed by some shuffling.]

America, putting me outside while I was asleep wasn't funny! It's not a good joke... whatever I did, it was an accident! If this is about the bath, you needed it!

Wait, it was raining before... but it's not even wet. I was by this street yesterday, and it looks much better now.

... Ah, sorry to be a bother, but can anyone tell me what's going on?
scimitar: (pic#4536421)
[personal profile] scimitar

Well, fuck you too! I'm not gonna start every post like this, but it's Yuki Kuran's birthday tomorrow-- an' I'm too damn good at this, really. If ya haven't gotten to know her already, ya should get on that. An' make sure to spoil her, cuz she deserves that too! Then there are a few more important people I need some dates from, eheheh. Promise I won't be doin' this everytime but hey, this shit's priority, cuz frankly there ain't enough to celebrate here.


Anyway, uh, movin' on. To all the nation-like entities here an' whatnot...

[needless to say, his tone's changed somewhat.]

Don' tell me you've ever wished ya were a human, eh?
totallygay: (Blob - Ya! Ya!)
[personal profile] totallygay
[Tatsumi is sitting outside, ruined buildings behind him, but mostly sky. Probobly on a rooftop somewhere. Anyway, he's got a friend with him. His mochi double, which is odd since they usually hate one another.

But for now he is petting it's head and "ears" before yawning a bit dramatically.

You guys just going to sit back and watch your puni friends get slaughtered?

[He swings the device around to show a Mochi VS Puni battle happening below. The Puni's are out numbered.]

It almost seems like you're all afraid to stand up and fight.

I guess there isn't anything left to do but drive those punis out!

[The camera is turned back around now, Tatsumi!Mochi is on his shoulder.]

Isn't that right?

[The Mochi gives out a happy "Ya!" before Tatsumi strokes it's belly-like area with a curled finger.]

It's too bad how some of you guys don't have a side to be proud of. If I were you, I'd give it all I got. Like a big showdown.

[The Mochi begins to bounce with excitement "Ya! Ya!! Ya!!!"]


You really shouldn't let them down.

[Tatsumi's smile turns into a very dark grin right before the feed is turned off.]

((OOC: Tatsumi is trying to rile people up to fight. Because watching everyone go at it is really amusing... and he might even get a little action himself, if he gets too bored. And you really don't want that.))

( text )

Jul. 4th, 2012 06:58 pm
starspangledhero: (I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL)
[personal profile] starspangledhero





[ ooc: Since I'm lazy, I won't be setting up a log, but I'll have a comment at the top of this entry open for action. If you decide to throw a character at the "party," feel free to threadjack and talk with any other characters! Otherwise you're just stuck with America wallowing on you. You're also free to handwave it as "yeah they'll come by later and party with America all night awww yeah" since I'm sure everyone's busy for THE GREATEST DAY OF THE YEAR. Just let me know if you do want to handwave it!

itsfondue: (What is going on?)
[personal profile] itsfondue
[If anyone was walking around Discedo, you'll probably spot a soldier standing against a building. That wouldn't be too unusual of a sight, except that this soldier had a giant red, white, and blue shield strapped to his back. He also didn't seem to be bothered by the rain, but he was also wearing a blue helmet with a giant A in the middle of it.

Anyway, there was a small frown on his face as he worked the communicator in his hands, obviously not used to this kind of technology. However, he'll get at least the basic video function working in a few minutes.]

Is... is this working? [Steve looked at the video feed with a somewhat confused expression. He was uncertain about using this thing in the first place, but with his enhanced abilities suddenly disappearing and the thought of the serum only being temporary because of that, he decided to use it. Besides, he wanted to find Bucky and the others as fast as possible. Sneaking around in this place didn't really get him anywhere.]

This is... Captain America. [He seemed a little awkward admitting that.] Does anyone the coordinates of our current location? Or a brief description will help as well.

( video )

Jun. 3rd, 2012 10:31 pm
starspangledhero: (Oh sweetie; don't feel bad.)
[personal profile] starspangledhero
[ There's some fumbling as the video turns on, giving only a view of crumpled sheets, then a messy room. In the background is some slightly labored breathing, like the person recording has been running (or stumbling) around. The view stays skewed, facing a corner of the bedroom as America talks. ]

Aha! Finally found it! Okay. Man that took a while, haha! Someone decided to turn out the lights on the world. Ain't the first time in my life, and good thing is that this time it's not gas or bullets or pencils or nothing to make it hurt, but I gotta say that feelin' your way around is a helluva lot harder when you've only got one hand to do it with.

...Shit. Just realized. This think on voice recorder mode? If I'm talking when I should be writing–

[ The video switches over to voice, where some muttering can be heard, then text. ]


[ Then back to video. Now it's facing America. He looks frustrated, but his gaze is blank, eyes staring off into nowhere. ]

–nd when I make mine it'll have voice control. No, better, it'll have something that'll talk back to you so you know that you're talking into it, and it'll be in a pleasant lady's voice.

[ SIGH. Then his frustrated expression flickers to something more vulnerable, almost like a nine year old that's afraid of the dark but too proud to go to his parents for reassurance. ]

...Anyone out there?
mounties: (pensant d'étoiles)
[personal profile] mounties
[She's new, obviously, and looking a little distressed as she tries to figure out the communicator well enough to make some use of it. Sitting down by the shipyard, her blonde hair is tied back in a messy ponytail, trying to keep it from getting in her face as she tries to figure out what's going on here.]

Excuse me... [A good start, right? Polite.] I'm a recent arrival to this place and would appreciate any information I could be given on it. It's not quite right for anywhere I know of home.

[It's short, but effective, she hopes. Canada then more or less repeats herself in French, then German and Russian and Japanese, the first languages that come to mind for good international communications.

But just to be safe, she tries text, too:]

Information and/or assistance in returning home would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.


May. 24th, 2012 10:18 pm
schrodingersghost: (phantom - stunned)
[personal profile] schrodingersghost
 [Danny is slightly sheepish today.  And in ghost form, thanks to being on patrol as he makes this post.]

Yeah, so... if anyone is wandering about the trail of monstercicles in Discedo?  That's kind of my fault.  Things got a little out of hand.

[He rubs awkwardly at the back of his head.]

Also, could anyone tell me where it was I lived when I was here before?  I'm kind of curious to see it.
starspangledhero: (You threw the manual in a supernova?)
[personal profile] starspangledhero
Major deja vu goin' on. Big ol' influx of people outta nowhere? That sure isn't suspicious.

[ America looks like he's pondering very seriously for a few seconds--like he's trying to remember a dream, but only grasping at faint shadows--but quickly breaks out into a grin. Whatever he was thinking about, it either wasn't important enough to occupy his attention or he's doing a very good job of multitasking. ]

Welp, best get y'all situated huh!

[ He holds up his right hand--scratch that, the fucking chainsaw attached to the stump where his hand should be--and waves. ]

Before I launch into the longest and most unbelievable explanation any of you are gonna have to believe, I gotta ask: if any of you see my hand running around here, let me know. That sucker's devious. But don't worry! It hasn't strangled anyone or touched anyone weird as far as I know!

[ And if you don't run into America himself... well, you're certainly free to run into Thing his severed hand.

Welcome to Hetalia nothing is sense and everything is fuckery.
stardustreverie: (*FACE HAT*)
[personal profile] stardustreverie
[The video feed springs to life as a mass of wet and slightly curly blond hair greets the screen. Before long a hand moves it back to show one very pissed off and hatless golden eyed witch.]

Alright now...What the hell is going on ze? If this is some sort of joke, they can knock it off right now.

[She pauses, putting her hat back on her head as she looks around for a moment]

Where is this anyways..? I don't think this is Gensokyo anymore...

[She frowns a bit as she turns the video off, the last thing she mutters about is something along the lines of 'I look like a drowned rat...Patchy would have a field day at this....']
gochuugoku: (Creating paths of blood through Wonderla)
[personal profile] gochuugoku
[Action A]

[It's evening and China is in Dissimulo. He's sitting on a rock while the female Thestral he's been looking after is but a few feet away from him. She lifts her head to look into his sad expression, but she doesn't venture closer to him. When China turns on the comm, his expression quickly becomes more bitter than sad.]

I remember. Everything. [He closes his eyes before laughing dryly and facing the ground so his bangs cover his eyes.] And of course Japan gets sent home at this time, aru.

[When he lifts his head, the whites of his eyes have turned into a blood red color, but only briefly, for when he speaks his eyes return to normal.] Damn you scientists to Dìyù...

[Action B]

[It's very late in the evening when China returns to Discedo, feel free to stop him as he walks back to his and Stocking's apartment. Meanwhile, when China finally does reach his destination:]

I'm home.

text; 01

Apr. 23rd, 2012 04:27 am
legality: (3V3RYBODY 1TS ON L3TS GO)
[personal profile] legality

4ND TH3R3 1S NO 3SC4P3

non IC cut + non leetspeak translation )
scimitar: (Default)
[personal profile] scimitar
[sup guys, there's a cat with a paper bag over its head. also a smilie on it.

it presses its paws to its communicator.

akjd dfg hjhfgjjjjjjjjjjjjj


(ooc: action for whoever wants it, he will literally be everywhere and anywhere.)
battledancing: (22)
[personal profile] battledancing
[Hello, Discedo! There is a blonde Champion on the feed, along with... a big pair of red eyes, blinking from underneath the shadows behind her. She doesn't seem to be aware of that, though, or at least she's not particularly concerned.]

I have been meaning to do this for a while now, but I see quite a few people here have been entrusted with Pokemon since we last went exploring the old factory. As I am currently the only one in Discedo who originally came from a world inhabited by Pokemon, I would be happy to offer any kind of assistance you might need with them!

[Meanwhile, the shadowy creature behind the trainer is still lurking closely, spreading out what look like wings of some sort - except wings don't normally have claws, do they?] They're not quite like regular animals, and I admit they can be a handful sometimes, but they definitely know how to compensate for every bit of effort you put into caring for them. I'm sure you'll have a great time tog--

[Cynthia never gets to finish her sentence as the shadowy thing sort of leaps forth and everything else is darkness. Oops?]

insulting: (Default)
[personal profile] insulting
[ Does anyone enjoy seeing Stocking take off her stocking and try to use them? I hope you do because that is exactly what she is doing. After a few minutes she gives up and speaks into the communicator. ]

Don't tell me that I'm in Discedo. If someone tells me that I will tear you limb by limb.

[ Please don't temp her. Tell her where she is please! ]
unionjackass: (Default)
[personal profile] unionjackass
[A pair of shrewd green eyes shows up blinking on the screen. The camera pulls back; England is lowering the device examining it--and apparently isn't aware it's recording yet because he's caught mid-sentence:]--the damn thing anyway. "Use this"... Can't even cast a spell, no need to be cheeky.

Of all the ways to pull a prank, this one's got to be the most moronic. [He knits his brows in concern as his footsteps crunch over the ground. He's searching, looking for anything familiar. A prank was one thing, having his magic become null was another. But, strangest of all was the empty sensation at the back of his mind.

England chews the side of his mouth in thought.]
That's odd... [He stops abruptly, head snapping up. He fixates on a building, the camera angle low, peering up so it leaves his head and shoulders in clear view. A prank was his first thought and he'll hold onto that until he knows better, but... God, he'd prefer this landscape over the emptiness that's crawling over his mind and he'll be damned if he stands there and simply accepts it for what it is.

He shakes his head.]
H-hah, nothing--nothing to worry about I'm sure, I--

[And then he notices the communicator's screen properly and he leans in.]

Is-- Was this thing recording?! How long-- Agh! There's nothing to see here--! If anybody can see or hear this broadcast, and I feel such a fool for thinking anything of it, I demand an explanation for this nonsense at once!

[And with that, he shuts off the device.]
totallygay: (Oh?)
[personal profile] totallygay
[Video cuts in to possibly show a very familiar man with light blue hair and yellow eyes, looking surprised.]

Oh, there it goes...

[He gives a smile and salutes with his right hand]

Ya! Tatsumi here. I'm using this, as instructed. Can you hear me?

[He pauses to look around at the desolate buildings, seeming quite lost.]

I take it this isn't Sotoba... But, isn't it a bit warm for November?
starspangledhero: (WINTER IS COMING.)
[personal profile] starspangledhero
[ America has been lying low ever since his little "excursion" with Tatsumi. Part of it is because it's pretty awkward to face up to doing terrible things, even if they weren't done by choice, even though he had no control in almost every sense. No matter what though, it's always hard to deal with the consequences of hurting those you care about. So he hasn't. He's been content to sit numbly at home and keep himself together.

But there's another reason.

America now wears a grin that's mostly reminiscent of his usual ones: cocky, self-assured, triumphant. Look closely though--look at the dark circles under his eyes, the healing bite marks on his neck, the bruises, and suddenly that sharp edge to his smile seems a little off.

Two weeks! Two whole freaking weeks and there ain't hide or hair of the bastard left! Discedo, I've done the impossible: I've solved your vampire problem. Let this be a lesson to all creatures of the day, night, or otherwise who are getting any ideas about going toe-to-toe with Hero of Hegemony!

[ It is at this point that he holds up his right hand. It's not a hand. It's a chainsaw.

Let's let that sink in: America has lost his hand and now he has a chainsaw in its place.

America has a chainsaw hand. And it works.

This is a travesty against all things sane. A beautiful, stupidly glorious travesty.


[ The chainsaw is turned on to accompany his near-maniacal laughter for an extra dramatic effect. Bruce Campbell would be proud of this display of lunacy.

After a bit he finally calms down. The smile remains on his face, but it seems a little more forced.

Gonna guess being dead for two weeks means he's staying dead for good. All those safe measures I took to make him stay dead, it damn well better work. [ Because if it doesn't... well, he's not sure what he'll do. His smile falters a moment, then comes back a little sadder. ]

And, uh... to y'all that are wonderin', and the ones who saw me... that night. I'll talk! Dunno how ready I am, but it ain't like I'm gonna get any more ready, right? Point is, I'm okay now, you're okay now, everything's okay!

[ Except he's really not. Hell if he'll talk about that though. ]

Oh! And if anyone knows where my hand went, lemme know! Stupid thing keeps running off on me.

[ Everyone might want to check under their covers tonight. You know, just in case a sentient severed hand happens to be there 8))) Why do I write these things what is wrong with me.

Also on a quick ooc note! I'm still chipping away at the event log, but if you have any questions about outcomes with your character/plotting/whatev, just drop me a line through PM or plurk or whatever mode of communication is comfortable for you!
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