00.00.20 [voice]

[encoder]

[ZAP.]

—Ouch! Ugh, what a piece of shit. Do the scientists want their captives to die? I mean, honestly. So pointless, it just means more work for them. Stupid...

[ ...

then he's trailed off for several moments, as if momentarily forgetting what he's supposed to be doing. actually, that is exactly what. his voice is weaker, tired.]

... Yeah. I'm only using this because I need something, not to chitchat with a bunch of idiots. I haven't eaten in two days because everything is awful and I can't leave. Not right now, anyway. Or I don't want to. You all should be grateful, by the way. I'm suffering for your safety as I don't think anyone here is as a) selfless or b) smart enough to know how not to screw up everything within a five mile radius.

[and that didn't really make a lick of sense. he seems to realize this.]

I think I said the point in there somewhere, I don't care because my stats are about to take a debuffing and I'mgonnahavet—

[BUT NOPE NOPE TOO MUCH TALKING. thankfully, he does manage to turn it off before all of discedo can hear the lovely noise of retching.]

Sketch 001 [voice]

[dustedsunlight]

[There's a little bit of feedback before the comm clicks to life, followed by some shuffling.]

America, putting me outside while I was asleep wasn't funny! It's not a good joke... whatever I did, it was an accident! If this is about the bath, you needed it!

Wait, it was raining before... but it's not even wet. I was by this street yesterday, and it looks much better now.

... Ah, sorry to be a bother, but can anyone tell me what's going on?