( voice; )

[shadesofred]

I think this is a long overdue announcement. My girly heart just can't bear this secret anymore! Or something stupid like that. My heart's actually been still for like, a thousand years now, so it's more full of coagulated blood and maggots than secrets. But I guess that's why it can't bear it anymore! It's too frail from all the creepy-crawlies eating it!

[ She is having way too much fun with this. Actually, she usually has fun with elaborate blackmail schemes, but it's been a while since she's had a whole audience to mess with. Marceline gives a dramatic sigh––you know, the kind you'd hear from the ~damsel in distress~ in a particularly old movie. ]

World, get ready for a shocker, because here it comes: I, Marceline the Vampire Queen, am the girlfriend of Sadiq What's-his-Face.

[ From the way she's talking, you can pretty much imagine her doing this. ]

He's just as scrumptious as a strawberry cupcake! Underneath his jerky exterior, there's a man with a heart of gold and cinnamon and whatever else you can imagine that's awesome. We hold hands all the time. It's fantabulous. I don't even mind that he's so sweaty.

So why am I telling you all this? Oh, no reason! Just thought I'd bring a little light into your dismal lives. And to prove that not all vampires are heartless maneaters. I'm sure my schnookems will readily agree.

[ Yeah she's semi up to date on current events. Hey, may as well make the most of this arrangement. (Not that she really cares if people view her badly but some days it's good to know that garlic won't be thrown at you.) ]

That's all. You can all continue on with your daily routines now.

Comments

Officially he is broken

[gocoldturkey]

((Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a land slide.
No escape from reality.))

just as planned 8)))

[shadesofred]

[ Yes come here let me drink your tears. ]

1/2

[scimitar]

[WHAT


WOW




THAT WAS WAY MORE THAN HE ASKED FOR]

[scimitar]

[but there's one thing...]

I ain't sweaty!

[shadesofred]

Yes you are.

[scimitar]

Ya wanna feel my hands?!

[video] 1/2!

[eyeforaneye]

[video] 2/2!

[eyeforaneye]

... This must be a lie.

[voice]

[scimitar]

Sounds like somethin' a sore loser would say.

[voice]

[eyeforaneye]

Che--! I am not a loser. You are... You are lying.

[video]

[shadesofred]

C'mon now. If it was a lie, would I really go this far?

[ answer: yes, but that's because she's a bit nuts. ]

[video]

[eyeforaneye]

I do not know you. You might.

voice

[gochuugoku]

Your device is on! [That's the only thing he knows in English right now and he thinks it's a greeting.]

voice

[shadesofred]

Indeed it is! [ awwwww babby. she speaks in a friendly enough tone that it seems like she's greeting him too. ]

voice

[gochuugoku]

[Now he switches to his native language, an ancient Chinese dialect.]

So, what are you so happy about?

[He could tell you were happy, but he couldn't understand what you were saying.]

text

[shadesofred]

[ Oh she. Doesn't understand that. Who knows what other languages Marceline speaks, but I'm going to hazard ancient Chinese isn't on the list. She'll try a new approach. ]

Sorry, didn't catch that. What were you saying?

[ Hopefully he can read text translations. ]

[ voice ]

[reobserves]

[ ... give him.. a few moments. What is this. What's going on. What even. ]

Uh.. You got a boyfriend? [ That's good, right? Less harassing for him? :D? ] Congratulations, I guess..?

[ voice ]

[shadesofred]

[ Terrible things. Sorry Yuki, but your harassment is far from over. ]

Thanks!

Careful though. Hanging around a sweet boy like you might spur some jealousy outta Sadiq.

[ Sounds like she's pretty amused by this prospect. ]

Luckily for you, I have no intention of letting our friendship go. [ She's already been down that road with her ex. NEVER AGAIN. Even if she really was dating Turkey, she's learned her lesson. ] Let's hope Sadiq doesn't get too possessive!

[ voice ]

[reobserves]

[ sobbing. ]

W-wait, there's no reason for him to be jealous at all! I already have a girlfriend here with me in this place, s-so it's not like there would be anything between the two of us! [ except his girlfriend is the 'too posessive' type. ]

[ voice ]

[shadesofred]

You have a girlfriend? ...When were you going to tell me?

[ HIS LIFE IS FULL OF CRAZY ]

[fierybluebird]

What.

I thought he hated vampires. And why would you ever?

[shadesofred]

I convinced him otherwise. [ IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HURR HURR no not at all. ]

Apparently dumb jerks are my type. Besides, makes for an interesting dynamic, doesn't it? Overcoming prejudice so love can conquer all, blah blah blah. Makes unlife interesting.

[fierybluebird]

[SHUDDERS VIOLENTLY AT THAT. EW.]

So does he hate all other vampires except you? Because that's not overcoming prejudice, that's using you. [Doesn't he have a great opinion of Turkey?]

[Voice]

[crowsong]

[Ugh, what is this nonsense? He thinks she'd get along well with Chianti.]

... I always felt that immortality would steal the thrill from life, but if this is how bored you get, I can't imagine why anyone would foolishly choose to inflict it on themselves.

[Voice]

[shadesofred]

[ You've only scratched the surface, Gin. It's the sort of nonsense that involves winning bets. Now if only she can get Turkey to agree to be her minion... ]

Eh, it's not so bad once you get used to it. Sure, there's all those moral dilemmas when you first start out, but after a while it doesn't matter anymore. [ aka when your moral code becomes horribly muddled ]

If you ask me, immortality adds some thrill to life. When everything around you is ephemeral, you've gotta see and do everything before it all disappears and is replaced by something else!