discedo | ( voice; )

I think this is a long overdue announcement. My girly heart just can't bear this secret anymore! Or something stupid like that. My heart's actually been still for like, a thousand years now, so it's more full of coagulated blood and maggots than secrets. But I guess that's why it can't bear it anymore! It's too frail from all the creepy-crawlies eating it!

[ She is having way too much fun with this. Actually, she usually has fun with elaborate blackmail schemes, but it's been a while since she's had a whole audience to mess with. Marceline gives a dramatic sigh––you know, the kind you'd hear from the ~damsel in distress~ in a particularly old movie. ]

World, get ready for a shocker, because here it comes: I, Marceline the Vampire Queen, am the girlfriend of Sadiq What's-his-Face.

[ From the way she's talking, you can pretty much imagine her doing this. ]

He's just as scrumptious as a strawberry cupcake! Underneath his jerky exterior, there's a man with a heart of gold and cinnamon and whatever else you can imagine that's awesome. We hold hands all the time. It's fantabulous. I don't even mind that he's so sweaty.

So why am I telling you all this? Oh, no reason! Just thought I'd bring a little light into your dismal lives. And to prove that not all vampires are heartless maneaters. I'm sure my schnookems will readily agree.

[ Yeah she's semi up to date on current events. Hey, may as well make the most of this arrangement. (Not that she really cares if people view her badly but some days it's good to know that garlic won't be thrown at you.) ]

That's all. You can all continue on with your daily routines now.