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Entry tags:
text/audio/action for Dissimulo
--Area scanned: data not available
Scanning
Scanning
>>not available: constructing map
[If it were possible for a line of computer text to sound annoyed, it would be Soundwave who could do it. The text flashes for a moment, before clearing, what almost sounds like a rush of static over the airways cutting in.
Meanwhile, in Dissimulo at the conjuncture of King Street and Harmony lane, one would find a strange, towering, nine foot tall faceless metal... thing, holding the little device delicately between two long, spindly fingers as he crouched. The visor flickered faintly as the words appeared on the device… Seemed like he found a way around the little buttons.
And he didn’t appear happy. With the shoulders drawn up and the head lowered, he was the very image of annoyance, the free hand lightly tapping his fingers slowly against the ground. There was a click, the communicator switching over to vocal input.]
--sensors must be faulty!--
[An oily, enraged voice slithered out of the audio output, the shoulders hunching more.]
--Decepticon life signal—
[Just trying to find him a colleague out here. … Yeah it’s not going so well.]
Scanning
Scanning
>>not available: constructing map
[If it were possible for a line of computer text to sound annoyed, it would be Soundwave who could do it. The text flashes for a moment, before clearing, what almost sounds like a rush of static over the airways cutting in.
Meanwhile, in Dissimulo at the conjuncture of King Street and Harmony lane, one would find a strange, towering, nine foot tall faceless metal... thing, holding the little device delicately between two long, spindly fingers as he crouched. The visor flickered faintly as the words appeared on the device… Seemed like he found a way around the little buttons.
And he didn’t appear happy. With the shoulders drawn up and the head lowered, he was the very image of annoyance, the free hand lightly tapping his fingers slowly against the ground. There was a click, the communicator switching over to vocal input.]
--sensors must be faulty!--
[An oily, enraged voice slithered out of the audio output, the shoulders hunching more.]
--Decepticon life signal—
[Just trying to find him a colleague out here. … Yeah it’s not going so well.]
[Video]
[A child like red head appears on the screen and peers in closely. Her emerald eyes looking over every little bit that she can see before smiling.]
Welcome to Fortuna.
[Video]
The faceless head leans in a little closer, studying the image on the screen. 'Beautiful' was a new term. He's heard overbearing, creepy, obnoxious and terrifying, but 'beautiful' was not a term he'd ever thought he'd here in reference to himself.
The head tilted slowly, quizzically, as the visor flickered again- and went black. DAMNIT. HE CAN'T FIND THAT PLANET. There was a few clicks, before the shoulders dropped faintly in exasperation]
--Fortuna--
[Unable to find it, he had to press the question. Ugh... maybe the human knew what the hell, he might as well ask. Pride wasn't going to get him anywhere when his systems weren't working.]
Re: [Video]
Yes, Fortuna. I'm afraid I don't know what solar system its located it. You'll find that everyone here was misplaced against their will to this place.
[Video]
At least no one else wanted to be here.]
--don't understand how this could have happened--
[He was starting to move, apparently having decided that if he was unable to fly and unable to locate where he was currently, he'd just have to start exploring this place on foot.]
Re: [Video]
Unfortunately, once you're here, you're stuck for awhile and unfortunately powerless via some sort of chip. I've been attempting to study that as well.
Now please, feel free to ask more questions. Though I wouldn't mind knowing your name~.
[Video]
Megatron would not be pleased in the slightest, and here he was without any way to contact him or get off the planet.
Fantastic.]
................
--Soundwave--
[May as well, for now. Being obstinate and disagreeable right now would not help him. Now, on to more pressing matters]
--powerless via some sort of chip--
[He was trying to do a system scan in order to find this harrying new factor, unable to locate it no matter what he did. Seriously?]
Re: [Video]
[Video/text]
Re: [Video/text]
[video]
Re: [video]
[video]
[video: LOCKED]
[video: LOCKED]
Re: [video: LOCKED]
[video: LOCKED]
Re: [video: LOCKED]
[video/text: LOCKED]
Re: [video/text: LOCKED]
[video/text: LOCKED]
Re: [video/text: LOCKED]
[video/text: LOCKED]
Re: [video/text: LOCKED]
[video/text: LOCKED]
[ACTION]
[ACTION]
Re: [ACTION]
[ACTION]
Re: [ACTION]
[ACTION]
Re: [ACTION]
[ACTION]
Re: [ACTION]
[ACTION]
text;
PLEASE SELECT AN ACTION:
> PRESS ONE TO GET THE BASICS ABOUT THIS HORRENDOUS WASTELAND
> PRESS TWO TO HAVE YOUR EAR TUBES FORCEFULLY VIOLATED BY INCOHERENT RAGE
> PRESS THREE TO LEARN ABOUT OPOSSUMS
> PRESS FOUR TO SPEAK TO A REASONABLE BEING
> PRESS FIVE TO TALK TO AN ASSHOLE REPRESENTATIVE WHO WILL MAKE YOUR DAY JUST A LITTLE MORE FUCKING MISERABLE
text; Yes, have Karkat talk to the giant tape recorder. BEST PLAN. I LIKE THIS PLAN.
This one had a sense of humor. Of course there is one incredibly long pause as he tries to consider just what the hell he should do.
...
...
Why not, he's already cranky. May as well see if this can't improve his mood.]
4
[Who knew. Maybe the mysterious typist would bother someone else]
text; IT CAN ONLY END IN TRAGEDY. by that I of course mean hilarity.
YOU HAVE SELECTED FIVE.
PLEASE HOLD WHILE YOU'RE CONNECTED.
WELCOME TO HELL, ASSHOLE. WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH TODAY?
voice/text I APPROVE OF THIS
He can also tell it'll be a pain the ass trying to wring information from the mysterious typist, but he really doesn't have much of a choice.
There's another rush of static]
requesting planet coordinates
>>input location:|
[And then a click]
--how this could have happened
text;
40˚ NORTH OF GODAWFUL
20˚ WEST OF FUCKALL NOWHERE
I REALIZE I'M BEING A SMARTASS ABOUT IT BUT IT'S HARDLY AN EXAGGERATION.
IN ACTUALITY, THERE IS LITTLE TO NO INFORMATION ABOUT UNIVERSAL COORDINATES.
THE BEST YOU CAN HOPE FOR ARE MAPS OF THE AREA SURROUNDING THE THREE CITIES.
THERE ARE A NUMBER OF POSSIBLE ANSWERS TO YOUR SECOND QUESTION.
THE SIMPLEST ANSWER IS THAT SOME MAD SCIENTISTS HAVE DECIDED TO INCLUDE YOU IN THEIR PET PROJECT.
IF YOU'RE ASKING "HOW" IN THE TECHNOLOGICAL (OR LOGICAL) SENSE, THAT REMAINS A MYSTERY.
AS FOR "HOW" IN THE "HOLY FUCKING FRENCHMEN WHY ME" SENSE,
I CAN HAZARD A FEW GUESSES:
1. YOUR GOD(S) HATES YOU
2. THE UNIVERSE HATES YOU
3. EXISTENCE ITSELF HATES YOU
IT WOULD BE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO QUICKLY ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE AN UNLOVED AND INSIGNIFICANT SO WE CAN MOVE ON.
PLEASE SELECT A FURTHER ACTION:
> PRESS ONE TO GET THE BASICS OF THIS UNIVERSE AND THEORIES OF ITS TEMPORAL REALITY
> PRESS TWO TO RECEIVE INFORMATION ABOUT THE SANDWICH FACTORY
> PRESS THREE TO LEARN ABOUT THE DEMONS THAT LIVE IN OUR WALLS AKA OPOSSUMS
text;
So he's going to blow off some steam. Apparently you want to talk about opossums. Alright.
Fine.
Let's talk about opossums.]
Opossums (Didelphimorphia, /daɪˌdɛlfɨˈmɔrfiə/) make up the largest order of marsupials in the Western Hemisphere, including 103 or more species in 19 genera. They are also commonly called possums, though that term technically refers to Australian fauna of the suborder Phalangeriformes. The Virginia opossum was the first animal to be named an opossum; usage of the name was published in 1610. The word opossum comes from the Proto-Algonquian aposoum, pronounced *wa˙p- aʔθemw, meaning "white dog" or "white beast/ animal".[3] Opossums probably diverged from the basic South American marsupials in the late Cretaceous or early Paleocene.
[He has a whole damn log on earth life forms, asshole. He can do this all day.]
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[Video]
But whether they were or not, for now he had no other option than to allow himself to be wrapped in blankets and ordered to rest in the subway train.
When he sees the new transmission coming in, he jumps at the chance of a distraction.]
Sensors?
[Video]
The video feed flickers and turns on, the featureless visor'd face of the 'Con staring back at the screen, before giving a small nod.
Have anything you'd like to share? He's all open since so many people here appear so willing to share information.
... Okay one person, the other one is busy typing dirty words at him.]
Re: [Video]
A new arrival, I take it.
[Video/text]
The shoulders rolled slightly, the move faintly annoyed as the mech straightened up to stand. Again the head dipped, the spy remarkably compliant for now.
The visor flickered, and the text function started up again]
requesting coordinates: latitude/longitude
planet coordinates: >>input
[Where he was on the planet, and where he was in space would be nice to know. Right now.]
Re: [Video/text]
We have no coordinates. All we have been able to learn
from the people responsible for this mess is that this planet is called Fortuna.
[Video/text]
--mess that is this planet called Fortuna--
[Fine then, tell him more about that.]
Re: [Video/text]
[Video/text]
Re: [Video/text]
[Audio]
[Audio]
--what are you doing?
[He makes plenty of sense, thank you very much. Go bug someone else. He's busy.]
[Audio] HOW DID I MISS THIS?! Sorry!!!
It's none of your damn business what the hell I'm doin'!
[because he won't admit to gardening. Nope.]
[Audio] <3 s'okay!
--none of your damn business--
[Yes, his sentiments exactly!]
[Audio] <3
[Audio]
--Dumbass--
[And that's what Soundwave thinks about you >:T]
[Audio] I do not have an icon angry enough for this. lmao
[video] MY JOB IS COMPLETE
[video] /plays victory music
[video] DOOTEELEE DOOT DEE DOO
[video]
[video]