discedo | text/audio/action for Dissimulo

--Area scanned: data not available
Scanning
Scanning
>>not available: constructing map

[If it were possible for a line of computer text to sound annoyed, it would be Soundwave who could do it. The text flashes for a moment, before clearing, what almost sounds like a rush of static over the airways cutting in.

Meanwhile, in Dissimulo at the conjuncture of King Street and Harmony lane, one would find a strange, towering, nine foot tall faceless metal... thing, holding the little device delicately between two long, spindly fingers as he crouched. The visor flickered faintly as the words appeared on the device… Seemed like he found a way around the little buttons.

And he didn’t appear happy. With the shoulders drawn up and the head lowered, he was the very image of annoyance, the free hand lightly tapping his fingers slowly against the ground. There was a click, the communicator switching over to vocal input.]

--sensors must be faulty!--

[An oily, enraged voice slithered out of the audio output, the shoulders hunching more.]

--Decepticon life signal—

[Just trying to find him a colleague out here. … Yeah it’s not going so well.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ You're welcome(????). ]

┏┫♋｀ｰ´┣━━━━━━━━━●)ﾟOﾟ)

ME TO YOU.
THAT IS YOUR EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE CAVING IN AS I EXACT MY FURY ON YOU.

Location classified

[That's all well and good but you still don't know where he is.]

[ So he thinks. Actually no, he doesn't, but there's a limited number of places he could be. Not that Karkat is actually inclined to go fight a robot but HE'LL OPERATE UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT HE IS... ]

YOU SAY THAT AS THOUGH YOU'RE NOT SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO IS FAMILIAR WITH THE TERRITORY.
YOU, HOWEVER, ARE STILL IGNORANT TO THIS WORLD AND HOW IT OPERATES.
FOR ALL YOU KNOW I CAN SEE YOU RIGHT NOW.

Subject request: State appearance

[PROVE IT, FLESH BAG. He's already on the move again now, after Washu's little check up. He'll fix this unfamiliar landscape problem, you just watch.]

GREY SKIN, HORNS, FANGS, EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE FROM THE DEPTHS OF YOUR NIGHTMARES.
PRESUMING ROBOTS DREAM, THAT IS.
I DOUBT IT.
YOU DON'T COUNT AS PEOPLE.
MERELY PRODUCTS.

[He'd be more offended if he hadn't heard that on other planets before.

Oh yes, Karkat, he's terrified. ... Actually he's annoyed because his heat scanner won't work either. Seriously that the hell.]

Request: State appearance of target.

[Now tell him what he looks like if you can see him so damn well]

METAL.
SERIOUSLY HOW MANY FUCKING MECHANICAL ASSHOLES AR RUNNING AROUND PRETENDING TO MATTER?
ANSWER:
YOU.

[ STOP POKING HOLES IN HIS FLIMSY CRUSADE, SOUNDWAVE. ]

[Lookit all the holes]

State appearance

color
make
shape
height

input answer:|

ANSWER:
FUCK OFF, TOASTER.
YOU'LL KNOW YOUR DOOM WHEN YOU SEE ME.

conclusion: Subject: enhancing truth

request: Designation, location

REQUEST DENIED.
TASK: REWRITE THE DESTRUCTIVE COMPUTER VIRUS TO ADAPT TO THE ELECTRONICS OF THIS PLANET.
CHANCE OF SUCCESS: YES.
DOES THIS WRITING STYLE MAKE YOU SOUND LIKE A TOOL: YES.
TOOL STATUS CONFIRMED.
PLEASE REMOVE ROBOT AND REBOOT UNIVERSE.

conclusion: subject prefers verbal attack only

refuses confrontation

subject: timorous. Deemed coward

conversation no longer necessary

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