a number goes here [voice]

[scimitar]

Wowwww, an' here I thought everyone here kinda peaceful! Guess I was wrong, yer true colors are showin'. 'S called "Fortuna's First Great War (AD)"— [...] not the greatest ring to it, but I guess it'll have to do 'til I hear a better one. I've heard worse! So I'll be the neutral party an' swoop in at the last second on the clearly winnin' side. It's a great plan, dunno why more 'a ya nations don' try it more often. An' succeed.

But anyway, I've got somethin' more important, so stop fightin' over stupid shit for like five seconds an' listen up.

IT'S SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY.

Yep! Sasuke's!! I bet he'll say he wanted it to be a ~secret~, but don' listen to him cuz everyone's gotta know. So I hope ya can get yer gifts together in record timin' if ya didn'. Iunno why ya wouldn' want the attention 'bout that anyway, 's not like he's turning fifty or somethin'. [... most likely.]

Ya can drop 'em off at 1113 in Dissimulo.♪ Thanks!!

Comments

[scimitar]

Right! An' you'll still get one! I'm sure other nations would be happy to tour ya 'round their places, too.

[nevermind the how.]

[eyeforaneye]

[ MAGIC, get with the program ]

I wouldn't mind... seeing all of them. Are they dangerous?

[scimitar]

Some 'a them! But that's basically a given with any world, I'd think.

[eyeforaneye]

I doubt it is possible anyhow. And if it's as dangerous as this place, it's fine.

[scimitar]

Nothin' wrong with plannin' anyway. We'll be prepared!

[eyeforaneye]

Maybe a guy like you has to be concerned but I'm always ready.

[scimitar]

Noooo, I mean for what we're gonna DO! It's gonna be fuuuuuuuun!

[eyeforaneye]

[ ... ]

I want to eat tomatoes.

[scimitar]

They will be the best tomatoes you've ever fuckin' had.

[eyeforaneye]

If that is true, I will recognize you as being a little useful. [ TADA ]

[scimitar]

An' I'll recognize you as not bein' a complete dickhead. Recognition for everyone!

[eyeforaneye]

Don't be ridiculous. You will still think of me as a dickhead.

[scimitar]

I said not bein' a complete dickhead! Meanin' ya'd still be kinda one.

[eyeforaneye]

I have no reason to change. I say what I think.

You must do the same; you open your mouth with no thought at all.

[scimitar]

What have I said that's been so thoughtless, huh!

[eyeforaneye]

What have you said that's been deep?

[scimitar]

'S not like everythin' that comes outta yer mouth is kilometers deep, either!

[eyeforaneye]

I did not say that it was. I said I was honest.

[scimitar]

So I don' really care if what I say is 'deep' or not! I say what I wanna, not my fault if ya happen to hear it.

[eyeforaneye]

...

It is your fault. This is a direct conversation. No one else is here.

[scimitar]

I'm not keepin' ya on, though! Ya can hang up anytime~.

[eyeforaneye]

It goes both ways...

What strange thing did you put at my home?

[scimitar]

Excuses!

Ya can't jus' ask me what I got ya for yer birthday. It's a SURPRISE!

[eyeforaneye]

I don't like surprises.

[scimitar]

I knooooooooow. But you'll have to deal with it this once!