a number goes here [voice]

[scimitar]

Wowwww, an' here I thought everyone here kinda peaceful! Guess I was wrong, yer true colors are showin'. 'S called "Fortuna's First Great War (AD)"— [...] not the greatest ring to it, but I guess it'll have to do 'til I hear a better one. I've heard worse! So I'll be the neutral party an' swoop in at the last second on the clearly winnin' side. It's a great plan, dunno why more 'a ya nations don' try it more often. An' succeed.

But anyway, I've got somethin' more important, so stop fightin' over stupid shit for like five seconds an' listen up.

IT'S SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY.

Yep! Sasuke's!! I bet he'll say he wanted it to be a ~secret~, but don' listen to him cuz everyone's gotta know. So I hope ya can get yer gifts together in record timin' if ya didn'. Iunno why ya wouldn' want the attention 'bout that anyway, 's not like he's turning fifty or somethin'. [... most likely.]

Ya can drop 'em off at 1113 in Dissimulo.♪ Thanks!!

Comments

[scimitar]

It's nothin' harmful to anyone!

[...]

Unless ya got really creative...

[eyeforaneye]

[ He kills people by looking at them; he's super creative. ]

Harmless, huh. I don't remember getting a birthday gift from a man before; I thought it would be a weapon.

[scimitar]

Whaaat? I'm the firs' guy that's ever given ya a present?

[eyeforaneye]

[ Rats. ]

It is not a date that I tell people often. Don't get distracted.

1/2

[scimitar]

[ ...


well that's kind of weird



but okay, he's distracted]

[scimitar]

Don' tell me I was yer firs' kiss too, or some bullshit like that!!

[eyeforaneye]

[ w o w ]

No. My third. The first was with... someone else. [ Thanks for that memory, thanks a lot. ]

[scimitar]

[you liked it]

Good! So... what were ya sayin', again?

[eyeforaneye]

[ He's not the one that oil wrestles, oh pinnacle of non-homoerotic manliness. ]

I was trying to figure out why it is not a weapon.

[scimitar]

[he just doesnt want any of your sappy romantic bullshit okok he knows you dig that stuff]

Would ya have wanted one instead?

[eyeforaneye]

[ You aren't allowed to talk, wow. ]

A weapon is a good gift. It makes sense.

[scimitar]

Other things make jus' as much sense!

[eyeforaneye]

Maybe for another person.

[scimitar]

I'm ain't buyin' that the only thing ya ever want is weapons, so ya can suck it!

[eyeforaneye]

[ Weapons and FOOD. ]

Suck what?

[scimitar]

[HAH HE GOT YOU FOOD


BE A HAPPY KID

...]

I thought ya were well-versed with insults in this language.

[eyeforaneye]

[ NEVER, YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM FIRST ]

I know what Hong Kong told me.

omg my html why

[scimitar]

[SO HE WOULD BE HAPPY DYING



THIS IS AWFUL]

Okay. How 'bout we use our imaginations here, if ya got any.

"/" i think you might need one of these :)

[eyeforaneye]

[ Pro... bably... ]

I have to imagine what I'm being told to suck?

my life was difficult

[scimitar]

Uh...

[... why did they have to go down this route]

Sure.

no regrets. okay maybe one.

[eyeforaneye]

[ ... that hesitance is worrying. ]

I can imagine something but it is very small.

dkjfs

[scimitar]

So yer imaginin' suckin' yerself off, right.

mayday

[eyeforaneye]

Is that what you were telling me to do? Because that is you being strange more than it is you successfully insulting me.

[scimitar]

Nope! An' it'd be nicer if ya jus' choked on it, actually!

[eyeforaneye]

So you were talking about yours.

Well, I refuse.