John Egbert [EB] ectoBiologist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hammerkinds) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
discedo2012-06-11 10:20 pm
hammerkinds) wrote in discedo2012-06-11 10:20 pm
≈ first breath; voice
[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]
Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?
Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]
[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]
That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?
I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.
[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?
I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?
[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.
Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.
Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.
Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]
[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]
Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?
Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]
[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]
That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?
I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.
[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?
I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?
[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.
Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.
Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.
Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]
[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]
( text ) 1/2 the latest tag in the history of late tags
But as I attempt to repent for my sins, Karkat is staring at his communicator with a mixture of disbelief and... well, his emotions are like the North Pacific Gyre. They swirl around in an ocean of unfathomable depths, and there might be something pretty sweet lurking in it, but no one, not even Karkat himself, wants to explore it because there's a huge pile of trash and rage amassed on top of it. The trash is composed mainly of irrational rage and fuckwords.
Point is, Karkat isn't sure what he's feeling right now, so he decides to settle in on his collection of fury twice the size of Texas. It is at this point that he starts yelling at himself in his own mind. In lieu of Future or Past Karkat to hate, he's had to settle for his Current self. So basically he's just a big fucking ball of crazy. What else is new.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? he screams in his mind with all the eloquence of a rabid badger. THIS WAS MY ONE CHANCE, MY ONE CHANCE AT RESOLVING EVERYTHING I EVER FUCKED UP WITH TEREZI, AND NOW PRINCE OF DICKS HIMSELF HAS SHOWN UP TO ONCE AGAIN GET IN THE WAY OF EVERYTHING.
Yeah you were doing a splendid job of making your intentions clear with her, what with all the insults and displays of cold indifference, another part of his mind retorts.
That's just how we roll. Messing with that would be messing with the very foundation of our relationship. Friendship. Whatever, the first part says.
We've been over this. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS oh shit.
Karkat ceases his schizophrenic arguing with himself as he realizes that he's been glaring into space for the past three minutes and that Terezi, wherever she is, can probably sense another stupid argument and will undoubtedly mock him for it.
But by god does he feel the rage at Dave arriving. This complicates everything. It was already complicated by an apocalyptic world and opossums but now it's even worse.
Now that this dumb monologue is done TIME TO ACTUALLY REPLY. ]
( text ) 2/2
MINE WAS A LEGITIMATE REACTION.
EVERYONE WAS EYING EACH OTHER LIKE AN INTER SPECIES GANGBANG WAS ABOUT TO COMMENCE RIGHT THEN AND THERE ON TOP OF SOLLUX'S BLOODY CORPSE
AND SUDDENLY I GET THE EQUIVALENT TO A BAG OF DICKS THROWN AT MY FUCKING FACE.
YOU THREW A BIG METAL DICK AT MY FACE, JOHN.
I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
AND NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY.
WELCOME TO HELL, ALSO KNOWN AS DISCEDO.
ENJOY YOUR STAY.
I'M ASSUMING SOMEONE GAVE YOU THE VERY BASIC INFORMATION OF THIS UNIVERSE AND I'LL BE SURE TO DETAIL THE REMAINING PARTS LATER, BUT HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART:
YOU WILL DIE AT SOME POINT.
AND THEN YOU WILL BE REVIVED.
IT'S LIKE OPPOSITE GODTIERING, WHERE INSTEAD OF GAINING ALL SORTS OF BULLSHIT POWERS AND OUTFITS THAT LOOK LIKE A RAINBOW PUKED ON THEM, YOU GET ANY ABILITIES STRIPPED AWAY BY A MICROCHIP IMPLANT.
ACTUALLY YOU'LL PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE THAT IN YOU NOW
BUT IF YOU GET IT REMOVED, THEY'LL PUT IT RIGHT THE FUCK BACK IN IF/WHEN YOU BITE THE DUST.
YOUR DEATH WILL PROBABLY BE AT THE HANDS OF A RAINBOW DRINKER.
OR A DEMON.
THEY LIVE IN THE WALLS, BUT DON'T WORRY.
I WILL CONTINUE MY STREAK OF BEING UTTERLY HELPFUL BY RIDDING THIS WORLD OF THEIR EXISTENCE.
YOU'RE
FUCKING
WELCOME.
( text ) i got this notif while i was at work and snorted really loudly
sorry about the bucket thing, i forgot you guys are really sensitive about cleaning supplies.
but i think that calling it a dick is kind of exaggerating.
but yeah, a lot of people have been really helpful and told us a lot of stuff about this place. someone is going to show me around when i get settled in, i think?
oh! and terezi said that we should come live near you so i think we're going to be neighbors!
( text ) GOOD it makes me feel better for tagging at work while grinning stupidly
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
THAT'S RIGHT.
DID I JUST BLOW THE LID OFF YOUR REALITY?
DID YOUR MIND JUST IMPLODE BY MY DISPLAY OF RATIONALITY AND GRACE?
HOLD YOUR HOOFBEASTS BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT TO GET ALL SORTS OF OF FUCKING SANE UP IN THIS BITCH.
NO WAIT THAT'S A LIE.
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE I'M STILL OBVIOUSLY DERANGED
BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS IT'S FINE.
THERE'S TOO MUCH OTHER SHIT TO DWELL ON IN THIS UNIVERSE FOR IDIOTIC BUCKET MESSAGES TO OCCUPY MY THOUGHTS.
JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN AND WE'LL CONSIDER IT A THING OF THE PAST.
OH
FUCKING
JOY.
JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED: TO LIVE RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO A GOON AND A...
GOD I CAN'T EVEN FATHOM THE SORT OF INSULT I WANT TO USE FOR THAT SUNGLASS-WEARING PILE OF FUCKERY.
HE'S A TAMPON.
ACCORDING TO HONG PONG KONG, THOSE ARE OFFENSIVE AND DISGUSTING FOR REASONS HE WOULDN'T TELL ME AND I DID NOT DARE TO ASK.
SO I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE TAKING THE SANDWICH FACTORY'S FORMER ABODE IN THAT CASE.
I EXPECT YOU TO TAKE OVER HIS FOOD PREPARING DUTIES IF YOU DO.
( text ) Also threadjack because i can
you called me a tampon
you seriously just called me a tampon
you cant be serious
is this real life
or is this just fantasy
caught in a landslide
ok no ill stop
this is too funny
you could have called me anything
motherfucking anything
a prick
a douchebag
maybe something even more terrible than that
but no
you decided that tampon was an insult worth calling me
i cant even be mad
im in stitches
my sides are ripping
death by laughter
never thought id see the day but there it is
im dead
gone
be right back respawning in t minus three seconds
except not
if you really want to know what a tampon is
ask rose
if and when shes here
shell give you the most accurate description
she will probably give it to you in paper form with all her sources or something
btw tampon is not an insult
it will never be an insult
calling someone a tampon didnt really make it that far as far as slurs go
but thanks for trying
[I have no idea how long this got.]
( text )
UNDERNEATH THAT CACKLING FACADE IS A WOUNDED SOUL
WHICH IS ACTUALLY TOO BAD CONSIDERING IF YOU HAD DIED FROM YOU RIOTOUS LAUGHTER, IT WOULD'VE GIVEN ME A FEW MINUTES REPRIEVE FROM YOU BEFORE YOU'D BE INEXPLICABLY RESPAWNED IN THE DECREPIT MEDICAL FACILITY.
I'D CONSULT MY HUMAN ANATOMY BOOK TO FIND AN EVEN MORE DISGUSTING ITEM TO RELATE YOU TO, BUT ALL THE PAGES GOT RUINED IN A FUCKING FLOOD.
BUT REST ASSURED, STRIDER.
I WILL VERBALLY TEAR YOU A NEW ONE IN DUE TIME.
FORTUNATELY FOR YOU I HAVE THRONES TO MAKE AND DEMONS TO OBLITERATE
SO I HAVE LITTLE TIME TO WASTE ON YOUR STUPID FACE.
I SHOULD LET THE POSSUMS EAT YOU.
( text )
youre totally off
im just gonna tell it to you straight
i am not wounded
tampons are not even kosher as far as insults go
are you like pmsing?
i mean it would explain the tampon talk
but i havent actually done anything to you
well i made you draw penises but i dont see how that would require you being so angry at me
thrones to make
...
ok
cool story
( text )
STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES YOU ARE NOT THE GODDAMN RIDDLER.
ASSUMING THAT IS AN ACTUAL PERSON AND NOT SOME BULLSHIT MONIKER I JUST MADE UP.
AND WHO SAYS I NEED A VALID REASON TO BE ANGRY AT YOU?
I'M ALLOWED TO PLATONICALLY HATE YOU INDISCRIMINATELY SIMPLY BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU EXIST.
THOUGH IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A REASON, HOW ABOUT THIS:
YOUR FACE
IS
THE WORST.
YES IT WILL BE A GLORIOUS THRONE.
DETAILS TO COME LATER.
( text )
pretty sure anyone here that is of the female variety will be able to tell you what it is
ask them what a tampon is while youre at it
knowledge is power
you just referenced batman
good job
your pop culture reference echeladder went up a level
im proud of you
oh ok
im not sorry my face is awesome
but ill pretend to care
post pictures of that shit
pics or it didnt happen
( text )
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU MADE THAT SUGGESTION.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO BATMAN IS BUT HE SOUNDS LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER. I'LL INVITE YOU TO SEE IT UPON COMPLETION.
YOU WILL GAZE UPON MY IRON THRONE IN WONDER
AND YOU WILL SAY TO YOURSELF,
"THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE ANYMORE.
I HAVE NO REASON TO GO ON.
KARKAT HAS WON THE DAY.
HE IS KING OF EVERYTHING."
( text )
how did you even know
also yes
he kind of is an asshole
you guys didnt have like
troll batman or something?
no superheroes to make your sad existences a little more interesting
damn
i look forward to it
no worries
watch you as you raise up onto your iron throne
which sounds like it would be cold
better get cushions for that shit
while i slowly spiral out of control
losing my grip on everything
etc
how will i ever handle it
idk
probably just sleep and be like
karkat has a throne
cool story bro
( text )
( text )
( text ) ahaha good i'm not the only one that tags at work
i would not want to be culturally insensitive on accident.
uhh, dude, tampon is not really an insult. that is just really gross.
they aren't really offensive though.
the sandwich factory??
i am not exactly sure where we will be living yet, just somewhere free i guess!
( text ) HARDLY
[ it's a compliment... really........ ]
YEAH? WELL IT'S EQUALLY AS GROSS AS STRIDER.
HIS VERY BEING IS AN INEXPLICABLY ABSORBENT COTTON BULLET ON A STRING.
EVEN WORSE
HE'S RED.
I HEARD THAT'S THE WORST KIND OF TAMPON.
AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE THE SANDWICH FACTORY WAS THIS NATION-PERSON NAMED JAPAN
EMPIRE OF THE RISING SIDEGLANCES
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
FOR A WHILE THERE WERE SEVERAL OF US TROLLS HERE
[ "before all the shit went down and everyone died," he thinks, but doesn't type. ]
AND WE OWNED A MONOPOLY ON THAT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ASSHOLE'S SANDWICH ENTERPRISE.
THOUGH I'LL ADMIT
FOR ALL HIS FAULTS
HE ACTUALLY WAS A GOOD GUY.
GOOD FRIEND TOO, AS WEIRD AS THAT IS TO TYPE AND I'M SURE IT'S JUST AS WEIRD FOR YOU TO HEAR.
ANYWAY HE LIVED IN THE HIVE RIGHT NEXT TO OURS.
I THINK HIS MATESPRIT IS STILL THERE BUT IF NOT YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT.
AND IF IT'S TAKEN YOU CAN FIND YOUR OWN FUCKING WAY, IT'S NOT LIKE ACQUIRING LIVING SPACE IS AN OVERLY CONVOLUTED PROCESS.
YOU JUST WALK IN AND SAY,
"I AM NOW KING OF THIS DOMAIN AND ALL SHALL COWER BEFORE ME"
AND THEN IT'S YOURS.
( text )
i think we should stop talking about stuff like tampons. in fact, i am pretty sure no one should talk about them.
so you were making money on his sandwiches?
that seems dumb since he was the one making them. but it's nice that he made food for you.
it's not really weird to hear you call someone your friend, i'm just glad you are admitting that you have friends. :)
does that mean you will admit we're friends now too?
and i will let you know where we are staying once i know! maybe you can come over to visit. it will be cool to actually get to meet you guys instead of looking at you through jade's space thing.
( text )
BUT THIS ONLY CONFIRMS THAT I'VE FINALLY FOUND SOME OBJECT HUMANS FIND REVOLTING
AND I CAN USE IT TO DESCRIBE STRIDER.
BEAUTIFUL.
OH MY FUCK ARE WE REALLY GOING THERE?
OKAY.
YES.
YOU'RE MY FRIEND.
I HAVE FRIENDS.
THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE PSYCHOPATHS, ASSHOLES, DEAD, OR MENTALLY IMPAIRED IN SOME WAY (READ: YOU)
BUT I CLAIM THIS CORNUCOPIA OF FAILURES AND FUCKHEADS AS MY FRIENDS.
WHILE THIS PROBABLY DOESN'T REFLECT WELL ON MY CHARACTER, I CAN'T IMAGINE ANY OF YOU ADMITTING TO ANY FORM OF COMPANIONSHIP WITH ME IS ANY BETTER.
IN ALL ACTUALITY IT'S WORSE.
I'LL ALSO GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY NOW:
I'VE MET YOU HERE BEFORE.
YES, YOU'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, BUT PEOPLE WHO RETURN DON'T ALWAYS REMEMBER.
MAYBE THEY'RE FROM DIFFERENT TIMELINES OR SOMETHING.
THE ANSWER ISN'T CLEAR.
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW NOW BEFORE ANYONE ELSE JUMPS ON YOU AND EXPECTS YOU TO KNOW WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE.
BUT
EVEN SO
THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T VISIT.
[ actually he'll probably just come over unannounced and john will have more trouble trying to keep him away than getting him to come over. ]
( text )
oh, uh, really? i guess i am one of those people that doesn't remember, then.
so i will meet you again here or something.
it kinda sucks that i don't remember, though!
and i will visit you guys too, if that's ok.
( text )
I'VE LIVED WITH MELODRAMATIC AND UNTIL THE DAY I GET A DOUCHEY CAPE AND WHINE ABOUT LIFE, I AM NOT MELODRAMATIC.
AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
MEMORY LOSS IS COMMON AND, AS FAR AS I'VE SEEN, DOESN'T RESULT IN PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE.
NO MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE ANYWAY.
PERSONALLY I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU VISIT.
BY THAT I MEAN
YEAH THAT WOULD BE COOL.
I DON'T MIND.
BUT I'LL WARN YOU THAT OUR HIVE IS KINDA A MAJOR SHITHOLE.
HALF THE FUCKING WALLS ARE MISSING BECAUSE SOLLUX HAD PSYCHIC EYE-DIARRHEA AND BLASTED EVERYTHING TO SHIT.
THEN THERE WAS THE FLOOD THAT FUCKED EVERYTHING UP FURTHER.
AND THERE'S A MILLION OTHER TINY, EQUALLY AWFUL REASONS WHY THIS HIVE HAS BECOME A HAZARD ZONE
NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THE FACT THAT TEREZI NOW LIVES HERE.
HER MERE PRESENCE IS LIKE MULTIPLE RAZOR BLADES IN THE THORAX.
( text )
dave is too, though.
haha, maybe you should just visit us instead.
but i'm sure it's not as bad as you make it sound, so i will be sure to visit sometimes too!
it would be cool to hang out with you and terezi, anyway.
( text )
( text )
[text] Dave aint even bothered
haha
dude it was so funny
in three years well laugh about this
at least everyone else but you welp
wait
assuming we get them removed
does that nullify the whole dying thing still?
cuz
lol god tier immortality shit
i smell a paradox forming
not a good one
you mean the possums
terezi already showed me what they were
stop trying to eat them slash feed them to terezi
that shit is going to kill you
if it hasnt once already
[text] Karkat, meanwhile, is on the verge of an aneurism
NOW LISTEN CLOSELY STRIDER
OR READ CLOSELY, WHATEVER:
HERE IS THE POINT WHERE I COULD IRREPARABLY FUCK WITH YOU.
I'VE BEEN HERE FOR... WHAT? A HUMAN YEAR, GIVE OR TAKE? WITH EXCEPTION OF ONE PERIOD OF ABSENCE
BUT THE POINT IS I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A WHOLE FUCKING LOT YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE
AND I'VE GOT SOME VAGUE IDEA OF HOW SHIT WORKS AROUND HERE.
I COULD TELL YOU EVERYTHING WRONG
AND YOU WOULD BE NONE THE WISER
BUT THIS TIME
THIS TIME
I WILL SHOW YOU MERCY
AND I WON'T BE A FLAGRANT ASSHOLE FOR THE SAKE OF BEING A DICK AND MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE MISERABLE THAN IT ALREADY IS AND WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BECOME.
AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS
I'M GIVING THIS WHOLE "BEING HELPFUL" SHIT A LEGITIMATE EFFORT.
AS FAR AS THE MICROCHIPS ARE CONCERNED, NO, THEIR REMOVAL DOESN'T MEAN YOU WON'T BE REVIVED IF YOU DIE.
IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU WILL HAVE THE CHIP REIMPLANTED IN YOUR BODY UPON RESPAWNING
SO THEN YOU'RE RIGHT BACK AT SQUARE ONE WITH NO STRENGTH OR SPECIAL ABILITIES.
YOU'LL QUICKLY FIND THAT THIS PLACE SOMEHOW RESTS UPON ON MULTIPLE PARADOXES, YET DOESN'T UNRAVEL OR SHOW TOO MUCH IN WAY OF CONTRADICTION.
FOR EXAMPLE
I THINK THE NEWS BROADCASTERS ARE GHOSTS, CONSIDERING THEY'VE MENTIONED SHIT LIKE "WHEN I WAS ALIVE."
EITHER THAT OR THEY'RE ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT SKINS YOU ALIVE AND STEALS YOUR IDENTITY.
OR SOMETHING ELSE.
YEAH THERE'S SOME PRETTY FUCKED UP SHIT HERE AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE HALF OF IT.
AND NO.
THE POSSUMS MUST BE DEFEATED.
THEY MUST MEET THE TRUE DEATH.
I MEAN I'VE BITTEN THEM IN OUR BLOODY FIGHTS AND THEY DID THE SAME
AND I'M NOT DEAD.
THEY MIGHT HAVE POISONED ME BUT IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S ANYTHING DETRIMENTAL.
[ hint: it's not poison it's typhus ]
[text] That's not Dave's fault! He didn't do anything this time.
i havent even done anything sheesh
you know if i really doubted you
id just ask other people
its not like there arent others around
but i actually trust and believe you
fancy that
other than being incredibly obnoxious
you hadnt actually tried doing anything that would suddenly scream a dirty fucking liar to me
plus terezi trusts you
and you havent tried killing me within the year of traveling on a shitty meteor
but you did try shoving a trash romance novel down my throat
that isnt cool
id appreciate if you didnt try to do that again
js
but id hope that a year worth of traveling together
would actually mean something
what the hell am i saying
of course not
were never not gonna stop fucking with each other
no matter how much we try to be chill with each other
ok wait
no
removing the chip means that our powers come back
so how does immortality come into play?
forget it
im not gonna bother chancing it anyways
what
wait
hold the fucking phone
what
defeating possums doesnt meant biting them holy shit
you know theyre basically covered in diseases
human diseases
you probably got really fucking sense
youre lucky you didnt get rabies
holy shit
[text] he exists. that is enough for karkat.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE DID SPONTANEOUSLY STOP FUCKING WITH EACH OTHER.
THAT WOULD PROBABLY SIGNAL THE END OF THE UNIVERSE.
THE END OF EVERY UNIVERSE.
EVEN IN A VOID OF NOTHINGNESS, THE REMNANTS OF OUR EXISTENCE,
OUR SOULS,
THE ECHOING MEMORIES OF OUR FORMER LIVES,
WOULD STILL BE FUCKING WITH EACH OTHER.
ONLY IN A STATE BEYOND NOTHINGNESS WOULD WE NOT BEING FUCKING WITH EACH OTHER.
IN ORDER FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, A CRACK IN SPACE/TIME WOULD HAVE TO OPEN UP
SWALLOW US BOTH WHOLE
AND ERASE EVERY TRACE OF OUR EXISTENCE IN ANY TIME.
THOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S WISE OR NOT THAT YOU TRUST ME.
AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT I TRUST YOU.
JUST
GUH.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDASKLJEGLR;THY
WHY DID YOU EVEN HAVE TO BRING THAT UP?
I'M NOT IN ANY MOOD TO PONDER ON SHIT LIKE BEGRUDGING RESPECT OR TRUST OR
JUST WHY.
NO.
I'M NOT FOCUSING ON THIS RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING: I'M GOING TO CONTINUE FEEDING YOU INFORMATION WHILE SILENTLY STEWING IN FURY THAT YOU SHOWED UP.
AND YOU ARE GOING TO SIT THERE AND ACCEPT MY IRRATIONAL RAGE.
YOU ARE GOING TO SIT THERE AND YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE IT.
THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT IS THAT IMMORTALITY DOESN'T COME INTO PLAY.
YOU CAN STILL DIE.
UNLESS YOU ARE DEFINING IMMORTALITY AS BEING UNABLE TO DIE PERMANENTLY
IN WHICH CASE WE'RE SIMPLY PUT BACK TOGETHER LIKE A MACABRE PUZZLE BY THE SCIENTISTS WHO RUN THIS HELLHOLE.
OR SO IT SEEMS.
NO I'M NOT.
I'M RIDDLED WITH DISEASE-FIGHTING ANTIBODIES.
THEY FIGHT THE RABIES.
I AM IMMUNE TO THE RABIES.
BRING ON THE RABIES I WILL BITE IT TOO.
[text] dont start going black for him gosh
forget i even mentioned that
was not expecting some longwinded reply back about the universes ending at the sheer thought of us not fucking with each other
i mean
believe it or not
i know how to give space once in awhile
its a very rare occasion
once in the blue moon
but sometimes i just get those feels where im like
yo dawg
gotta back up a bit
karkat is losing his shit
better leave him in his fit
let him gather all his wit
...
anyways
yeah i get it
got it
good
k
cool story
i will just believe you when you tell me things
you will be irrationally angered for no reason
i thing i can dig this
that sucks
you didnt die before did you?
[Concerned? Oh hell no. He's not concerned. That's silly talk.]
uh
rabies is a disease and you cant bite it
believe it or not
i mean you can bite whatever has it
but i really would advise not to
they dont usually take to being bitten
nor should you bite them
im all for testing fate and all
but thats ridiculously stupid
[text] sorry dave there is only one person karkat flushes black for: himself
WHATEVER PROCEEDED WAS JUST SO AWFUL I MUST'VE BLOCKED IT OUT AS A COPING MECHANISM.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION YES I'VE DIED BEFORE.
TWICE.
BOTH AT THE HANDS OF RAINBOW DRINKERS
ALSO KNOWN AS VAMPIRES.
THE FIRST TIME IS KINDA SCARY BUT BY THE SECOND TIME
YOU LEARN TO JUST WALLOW IN BOREDOM AND MUD AS YOU WAIT FOR THINGS TO FADE TO BLACK.
THEN YOU WAKE UP IN PERFECT FUCKING SHAPE.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO SEE JOHN OR TEREZI OR EVEN YOU GET YOUR THROAT RIPPED OUT.
YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I TEND TO FLIP MY SHIT WHEN FRIENDS DIE.
IT'S EMBARRASSING BUT CONSISTENT.
[ He should be concerned because IT'LL PROBABLY HAPPEN AGAIN. also I swear if any other homestucks die he is going to bawl. ]
YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME IF YOU ASSUME I WON'T FIND A WAY TO BITE RABIES.
ANYWAY IT'S TOO LATE I ALREADY BIT THAT OPOSSUM SEVERAL TIMES.
FUCKER DESERVES IT FOR EATING MY FOOD.
I HOPE I GAVE IT EVERY DISEASE POSSIBLE.
[text] no one wants to be black with karkat anyways
[He successfully doesn't freak out at all. Damn, he's proud of himself. But he does actually feel kind of bad because dying sucks. But he won't actually say that to you. Nope. But it means he'll make sure ti doesn't happen again. Or try at least.]
do trolls even carry diseases
ugh you know what
just go keep biting them
im not even gonna try and stop you
just get rid of them
or is your place just so utterly infested with them