John Egbert [EB] ectoBiologist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hammerkinds) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
discedo2012-06-11 10:20 pm
hammerkinds) wrote in discedo2012-06-11 10:20 pm
≈ first breath; voice
[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]
Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?
Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]
[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]
That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?
I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.
[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?
I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?
[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.
Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.
Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.
Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]
[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]
Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?
Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]
[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]
That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?
I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.
[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?
I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?
[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.
Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.
Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.
Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]
[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]
( text )
STOP SPEAKING IN RIDDLES YOU ARE NOT THE GODDAMN RIDDLER.
ASSUMING THAT IS AN ACTUAL PERSON AND NOT SOME BULLSHIT MONIKER I JUST MADE UP.
AND WHO SAYS I NEED A VALID REASON TO BE ANGRY AT YOU?
I'M ALLOWED TO PLATONICALLY HATE YOU INDISCRIMINATELY SIMPLY BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THE FACT THAT YOU EXIST.
THOUGH IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A REASON, HOW ABOUT THIS:
YOUR FACE
IS
THE WORST.
YES IT WILL BE A GLORIOUS THRONE.
DETAILS TO COME LATER.
( text )
pretty sure anyone here that is of the female variety will be able to tell you what it is
ask them what a tampon is while youre at it
knowledge is power
you just referenced batman
good job
your pop culture reference echeladder went up a level
im proud of you
oh ok
im not sorry my face is awesome
but ill pretend to care
post pictures of that shit
pics or it didnt happen
( text )
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU MADE THAT SUGGESTION.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO BATMAN IS BUT HE SOUNDS LIKE AN ASSHOLE.
I'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER. I'LL INVITE YOU TO SEE IT UPON COMPLETION.
YOU WILL GAZE UPON MY IRON THRONE IN WONDER
AND YOU WILL SAY TO YOURSELF,
"THERE IS NO MEANING TO LIFE ANYMORE.
I HAVE NO REASON TO GO ON.
KARKAT HAS WON THE DAY.
HE IS KING OF EVERYTHING."
( text )
how did you even know
also yes
he kind of is an asshole
you guys didnt have like
troll batman or something?
no superheroes to make your sad existences a little more interesting
damn
i look forward to it
no worries
watch you as you raise up onto your iron throne
which sounds like it would be cold
better get cushions for that shit
while i slowly spiral out of control
losing my grip on everything
etc
how will i ever handle it
idk
probably just sleep and be like
karkat has a throne
cool story bro
( text )
BUT I DON'T THINK ANY OF THOSE WOULD NECESSARILY CLASSIFY AS "HEROES" CONSIDERING OUR CULTURAL IDOLIZED RUTHLESS VIOLENCE.
EVEN "WIZARD PEOPLE, DEAR READER" HAD AN EXCEPTIONAL AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE FOR A WIGGLER BOOK.
THE ONLY REASON I'M NOT CONSIDERING MOUNTING YOUR HEAD ON A PIKE AS A MESSAGE TO MY ENEMIES IS BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY HAD A VALID SUGGESTIONS.
MIGHT INVEST IN CUSHIONS.
( text )
disneyworld has nothing on you guys
oh
nice to know
ill sleep easy tonight
itll save you from freezing your ass off
or trying to sit on something made of iron
i dont know about you but iron doesnt strike me as comfortable