text; 01

[legality]

3V3RYTH1NG 1S W3T 4ND NOTH1NG 1S B34UT1FUL
UGHHHHH
UGH
UGH UGH UGH UUUUGHHH

UGH NUMB3R 1
WHY DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG SM3LL SO T3RR1BL3?!?!
1TS L1K3 1 4CC1D3NTLY CR4WL3D 1NTO 4 CO4LM1N3RS ST1NKY 4ND SW34TY 4SSHOL3 4ND 4LSO TH3R3 1S CRUSTY SN1FF NOD3 JU1C3
4ND B4RF
4ND PR3TTY MUCH 3V3RYTH1NG GROSS YOU C4N 3V3R 1M4G1N3
4ND TH3R3 1S NO 3SC4P3



UGH NUMB3R TWO
TH1S 1SNT TROLL14N 4ND WH3R3 1S 4R43N4??
BEC4US3 1M R34LLY ST4RT1NG TO TH1NK TH1S 1SNT TH3 S4M3 DR34M BUBBL3 1 W4S 1N B3FOR3
WH4T TH3 H3CK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY L1F3
1 4M SO4K3D
TH1S 1S GROSS
1 SM3LL L1K3 UGHGUGHGURHU

UGH NUMB3R M1LL1ON
C4N 4NYON3 3V3N R34D WH4T 1M TYP1NG
OR 1S TH4T JUST 4 TH1NG TH4TS NOT OCCURR1NG 4NYMOR3

UGH NUMB3R WHYYYYYYYYYYY
NO S3R1OUSLY
1S 4NYON3 G3TT1NG MY M3SS4G3S??
1TS RUD3 TO L34V3 4 BL1ND G1RL LOST 4ND CONFUS3D, YOU KNOW!!
(1M LOOK1NG 4T YOU K4RK4T
STOP B31NG SO RUD3 4ND T3LL M3 WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON)





(OR D4V3


OR K4N4Y4 OR ROS3 OR 4NYON3 1N G3N3R3L WOULD B3 PR3TTY D4MN N1C3 R1GHT 4BOUT NOW TH4NK YOU!!!!!)

[ Translation: EVERYTHING IS WET AND NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL
UGH x a large amount
WHY DOES EVERYTHING SMELL SO TERRIBLE
ITS LIKE I ACCIDENTLY CRAWLED INTO A COALMINERS STINKY AND SWEATY ASSHOLE AND ALSO THERE IS CRUSTY SNIFF NODE JUICE
AND BARF
AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING GROSS YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE
AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE

UGH NUMBER TWO
THIS ISNT TROLLIAN AND WHERE IS AREANA??
BECAUSE I AM REALLY STARTING TO THINK THIS ISNT THE SAME DREAM BUBBLE I WAS IN BEFORE
WHAT THE HECK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY LIFE
I AM SOAKED
THIS IS GROSS
I SMELL LIKE URHGURHUGHRUH

UGH NUMBER MILLION
CAN ANYONE EVEN READ WHAT IM TYPING
OR IS THAT JUST A THING THATS NOT OCCURRING ANYMORE

UGH NUMBER WHYYYYYYYY
NO SERIOUSLY IS ANYONE GETTING MY MESSAGES??
ITS RUDE TO LEAVE A BLIND GIRL LOST AND CONFUSED, YOU KNOW!!
(IM LOOKING AT YOU KARKAT
STOP BEIGN RUDE AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

OR DAVE
ORKANAYA OR ROSE OR ANYONE IN GENERAL WOULD BE PRETTY DAMN NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW THANK YOU!!! ]

Comments

[legality]

1T JUST M34NS TH4T
WH1L3 B3FOR3 1 H4D SOM3 B4S1C 1D34 OF WH4T 1 THOUGHT W4S H4PP3N1NG
NOW 1 DONT KNOW SH1T

HON3STLY THOUGH
TH3 FUCKS 1 4M G1V1NG 4R3 M1N1M4L
B3C4US3 WOW TH3R3 1S 4 LOT OF W4T3R 4ND 1 C4NT SW1M
4ND PL34S3 T3LL M3 TH3 SUN 1SNT COM1NG UP SOON
B3C4US3 1F 1T 1S 1 W1LL T4K3 TH4T 4S 4 S1GN TH4T TH4T P4R4DOX SP4C3 1S R34LLY NOT H4PPY W1TH M3 4T TH3 MOM3NT

[bauhinia]

i don't know about the sun, but there's totally dry places somewhere. do you see any street signs or anything?

[legality]

H4H4
TH4TS 4 FUNNY ON3 KONGY HONGWH4T3V3RF4C3
1 C4NT S33 4NYTH1NG
4ND 3V3RYTH1NGS TOO F4R 4W4Y FOR M3 TO G3T 4 GOOD SN1FF
>:o

DO3S TH1S TH1NG H4V3 4 V13WF1ND3R FUNCT1ON
YOU DO TH3 S331NG FOR M3!!!

[bauhinia]

[ Why do all these trolls give people weird nicknames. He can't keep up with the weird nicknames. Maybe you could all agree upon one nickname for him and stick with it? That sound good? No?

Okay, he'll make an index then. ]

hong kong. and i'm sorry, i didn't know. if you can turn on the video, sure, i can look for you.

[legality]

[ yeah you will get a better nickname eventually, once she gets a good sniff. maybe she'll force karkat to use it. MAYBE....

it takes her a while of pressing buttons, but eventually the video's on. at first, all you can see are her feet dangling over the water below (missing one shoe, thank you very much), but then she starts moving her communicator. it's a warehouse, on Lander Boulevard. she's sitting in one of the upper windows due to the fact that most of the warehouse itself is pretty gross and flooded. ]

Alright, so! Navigate me to somewhere that isn't incredibly awful!

[bauhinia]

[ At least there's no danger of him being dubbed 'sandwich factory 2.0' or something right now. He'll take what he can get and pretend it's either trendy or affectionate or both.

Oh, her poor shoe.

No, focusing now. ] Yeah, I totally know where that is. [ He's looking out his window now, like he can somehow magically map out a route from there to the nearest building. Not magically, okay, but he's good at this stuff. ]

Did you swim over there or something?

[legality]

Can't swim. I happened to wake up in here, partially underwater. Not a pleasant experience, especially considering I wasn't sleeping. At least I don't remember sleeping. [ she moves the camera to herself (a little off center, but not too bad) and gives a little wave. hiiiiiii) ]

[bauhinia]

[ He waves back, regardless of whether or not she can see. It seems polite. ] Hey there.

I guess it's lucky you weren't lower to the ground though. If you can't swim, it's gonna be tough to get anywhere. I dunno who has boats or anything. [ He's thinking. ] I could like, swim out there, maybe.

[legality]

You wanna be my hero? Heheheh! [ She pauses, thinking about the offer. Then brings the communicator screen to her mouth and liiiiiiiiiiiiiiicks. Pauses again. Hmmmmmm...




Approved. ]

Come save me, then! I think there's one or two dangerous smelling beasts in here, and I'd rather not stick around with them for too much longer. I don't know when they'll get hungry.

[bauhinia]

[ Whoa, that was unexpected.... But okay, that's totally cool. Licking things. He's fine with that. ]

Okay, sure. Y'know it's gonna be awhile, right? Should I bring some food or something for you?

[ He has no idea what trolls eat. Other than sandwiches, presumably. ]

[legality]

Food'll be nice. Get me something colorful. [ a colorful sandwich, perhaps. ]

[bauhinia]

Okay, colorful food. Got it. I'll do my best. Sit tight, yeah? [ Time to go find colorful food.

And then something to put it in.

And then something to put himself in. Okay, scratch that, he has no waterproof clothing. Well, this will be fun! He'll see you in... awhile... Terezi. ]

[legality]

[ It'll be pretty obvious where Terezi is, considering the massive watermonster feeding frenzy happening beneath her window. The bodies of a few Punis and Tribbles seem to be the food source. Bodies that Terezi is dropping out the window while cackling. A girl's got to entertain herself somehow. And, if anything, all the water monsters seem incredibly distracted. As long as she keeps feeding them, they aren't going to move, and Terezi does seem to have a ridiculous number of Tribbles. ]

[bauhinia]

[ Hong Kong will take advantage of that too, of course. Sorry, Tribbles, but keep distracting those things, okay? He doesn't want to be lunch. He's insane for even doing this, but it's staving off the boredom, isn't it? Yes, that's how we roll here. Once he gets close, he climbs up to where she is, kind of... falling over next to her. That was a long swim.... ]

Yo.

[legality]

Ooooooh? What's this? Do I detect the greeting of a coolkid? Could I be possibly dealing with a coolkid?! [ She looks positively gleeful and dumps her small lapful of Tribbles into the water before. Because, hey, more important things to pay attention to. Like sniffing the fuck out of Hong Kong. I hope you weren't using all that personal space, man. ]

[bauhinia]

[ He's outwardly unfazed by the sniffing. He's going to have possible difficulty if this levels up to licking, but sniffing's fine. ] Pretty sure I don't smell that great right now. [ Actually, he smells pretty good. Magical Hetalia powers for you there. He is the ~fragrant harbor~ and all. But that doesn't mean he's not covered in gross-whatever-came-outta-the-water smell too. ]

Define coolkid. Because yeah, I usually think of myself as being pretty cool. [ He can even rap. In Cantonese. No, let's not subject anyone to that. ]

[legality]

[ Yeah, did you seriously think you'd get out of a lick? Because that's not happening. With all the speed of a bear grabbing a salmon out of the river, Terezi grabs Hong Kong's face and just liiiiiiicks up his cheek. Fragrant harbor, indeed. ]

Hehehehe! You taste cool, so that confirms it! Welcome to the club, man. [ With that out of the way, she plops down next to him, wiggling the toes of her shoeless foot. ]

[bauhinia]

[ He, to his credit, does remain cool when that happens. It's fine. He gets licked by lady trolls all the time. Totally cool. ]

Not gonna ask how that works, but thanks. [ He looks down at her foot. ] So what happened to your shoe there?

[legality]

I think one of those asshole monsters got it. [ wiggle wiggle wiggle ] Got any extra shoes I can borrow? I'll trade you.

[bauhinia]

I actually do. I thought it might be a pain walking around like that. [ He reaches into the bag he brought — this actually is covered in plastic so it's mostly dry — and pulls out a pair of boots. ] These okay?

[legality]

The coolkid came prepared! I am impressed, good sir! Ahahahahahahahahaah! [ Look, you even get a friendly shoulder pat that was delivered a bit harder than necessary before she takes the shoes, sniffs 'em a bit, and wiggles her feet into them. ]

A bit big and not enough red, but they'll do! When we get somewhere dry, I'll draw you something. I am quite the artist, I'll have you know.

[bauhinia]

[ He lets out a very quiet grunt when she pats his shoulder. Girl, you are unusual. But that's okay, because he is unusual also, so he is okay with this. ] No reason you should have to go around in one shoe. Kinda like, uncomfortable, I guess.

Oh yeah? [ Hey, he likes to draw too, this is like. This is good, right? Having things in common is good. ] I can't wait to see it. But d'you wanna eat something first?

[legality]

[ She holds out her hand in his direction (she's a little too far to the left, but whatever shut up). ]

Feed me, new friend. Feed me.

[bauhinia]

[ Your lunch is... a canteen of instant noodles. I hope that works for you. ] Here you go. [ Sorry, he kinda ran out of bread for sandwiches. He deposits the canteen directly into her hand, then kinda pokes a fork into the space between her palm and the side of the container. ]

I've got tea too. I dunno if you do tea. I guess some people don't like it.

[legality]

[ Forks are for inferior beings. She sniffs it, sniffs the noodle container, sniffs the fork, tosses it on the ground, and tears the container apart with her teeth. Have they been cooked? Are they dry? Who the fuck cares. There will be no survivors.

This is what happens when you raise yourself in a tree. Manners are secondary to your cause. ]

Continue feeding me your delicious earthhuman delights. My dragonlike appetite must be appeased!