text; 01

[legality]

3V3RYTH1NG 1S W3T 4ND NOTH1NG 1S B34UT1FUL
UGHHHHH
UGH
UGH UGH UGH UUUUGHHH

UGH NUMB3R 1
WHY DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG SM3LL SO T3RR1BL3?!?!
1TS L1K3 1 4CC1D3NTLY CR4WL3D 1NTO 4 CO4LM1N3RS ST1NKY 4ND SW34TY 4SSHOL3 4ND 4LSO TH3R3 1S CRUSTY SN1FF NOD3 JU1C3
4ND B4RF
4ND PR3TTY MUCH 3V3RYTH1NG GROSS YOU C4N 3V3R 1M4G1N3
4ND TH3R3 1S NO 3SC4P3



UGH NUMB3R TWO
TH1S 1SNT TROLL14N 4ND WH3R3 1S 4R43N4??
BEC4US3 1M R34LLY ST4RT1NG TO TH1NK TH1S 1SNT TH3 S4M3 DR34M BUBBL3 1 W4S 1N B3FOR3
WH4T TH3 H3CK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY L1F3
1 4M SO4K3D
TH1S 1S GROSS
1 SM3LL L1K3 UGHGUGHGURHU

UGH NUMB3R M1LL1ON
C4N 4NYON3 3V3N R34D WH4T 1M TYP1NG
OR 1S TH4T JUST 4 TH1NG TH4TS NOT OCCURR1NG 4NYMOR3

UGH NUMB3R WHYYYYYYYYYYY
NO S3R1OUSLY
1S 4NYON3 G3TT1NG MY M3SS4G3S??
1TS RUD3 TO L34V3 4 BL1ND G1RL LOST 4ND CONFUS3D, YOU KNOW!!
(1M LOOK1NG 4T YOU K4RK4T
STOP B31NG SO RUD3 4ND T3LL M3 WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON)





(OR D4V3


OR K4N4Y4 OR ROS3 OR 4NYON3 1N G3N3R3L WOULD B3 PR3TTY D4MN N1C3 R1GHT 4BOUT NOW TH4NK YOU!!!!!)

[ Translation: EVERYTHING IS WET AND NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL
UGH x a large amount
WHY DOES EVERYTHING SMELL SO TERRIBLE
ITS LIKE I ACCIDENTLY CRAWLED INTO A COALMINERS STINKY AND SWEATY ASSHOLE AND ALSO THERE IS CRUSTY SNIFF NODE JUICE
AND BARF
AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING GROSS YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE
AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE

UGH NUMBER TWO
THIS ISNT TROLLIAN AND WHERE IS AREANA??
BECAUSE I AM REALLY STARTING TO THINK THIS ISNT THE SAME DREAM BUBBLE I WAS IN BEFORE
WHAT THE HECK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY LIFE
I AM SOAKED
THIS IS GROSS
I SMELL LIKE URHGURHUGHRUH

UGH NUMBER MILLION
CAN ANYONE EVEN READ WHAT IM TYPING
OR IS THAT JUST A THING THATS NOT OCCURRING ANYMORE

UGH NUMBER WHYYYYYYYY
NO SERIOUSLY IS ANYONE GETTING MY MESSAGES??
ITS RUDE TO LEAVE A BLIND GIRL LOST AND CONFUSED, YOU KNOW!!
(IM LOOKING AT YOU KARKAT
STOP BEIGN RUDE AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

OR DAVE
ORKANAYA OR ROSE OR ANYONE IN GENERAL WOULD BE PRETTY DAMN NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW THANK YOU!!! ]

Comments

[legality]

[ It'll be pretty obvious where Terezi is, considering the massive watermonster feeding frenzy happening beneath her window. The bodies of a few Punis and Tribbles seem to be the food source. Bodies that Terezi is dropping out the window while cackling. A girl's got to entertain herself somehow. And, if anything, all the water monsters seem incredibly distracted. As long as she keeps feeding them, they aren't going to move, and Terezi does seem to have a ridiculous number of Tribbles. ]

[bauhinia]

[ Hong Kong will take advantage of that too, of course. Sorry, Tribbles, but keep distracting those things, okay? He doesn't want to be lunch. He's insane for even doing this, but it's staving off the boredom, isn't it? Yes, that's how we roll here. Once he gets close, he climbs up to where she is, kind of... falling over next to her. That was a long swim.... ]

Yo.

[legality]

Ooooooh? What's this? Do I detect the greeting of a coolkid? Could I be possibly dealing with a coolkid?! [ She looks positively gleeful and dumps her small lapful of Tribbles into the water before. Because, hey, more important things to pay attention to. Like sniffing the fuck out of Hong Kong. I hope you weren't using all that personal space, man. ]

[bauhinia]

[ He's outwardly unfazed by the sniffing. He's going to have possible difficulty if this levels up to licking, but sniffing's fine. ] Pretty sure I don't smell that great right now. [ Actually, he smells pretty good. Magical Hetalia powers for you there. He is the ~fragrant harbor~ and all. But that doesn't mean he's not covered in gross-whatever-came-outta-the-water smell too. ]

Define coolkid. Because yeah, I usually think of myself as being pretty cool. [ He can even rap. In Cantonese. No, let's not subject anyone to that. ]

[legality]

[ Yeah, did you seriously think you'd get out of a lick? Because that's not happening. With all the speed of a bear grabbing a salmon out of the river, Terezi grabs Hong Kong's face and just liiiiiiicks up his cheek. Fragrant harbor, indeed. ]

Hehehehe! You taste cool, so that confirms it! Welcome to the club, man. [ With that out of the way, she plops down next to him, wiggling the toes of her shoeless foot. ]

[bauhinia]

[ He, to his credit, does remain cool when that happens. It's fine. He gets licked by lady trolls all the time. Totally cool. ]

Not gonna ask how that works, but thanks. [ He looks down at her foot. ] So what happened to your shoe there?

[legality]

I think one of those asshole monsters got it. [ wiggle wiggle wiggle ] Got any extra shoes I can borrow? I'll trade you.

[bauhinia]

I actually do. I thought it might be a pain walking around like that. [ He reaches into the bag he brought — this actually is covered in plastic so it's mostly dry — and pulls out a pair of boots. ] These okay?

[legality]

The coolkid came prepared! I am impressed, good sir! Ahahahahahahahahaah! [ Look, you even get a friendly shoulder pat that was delivered a bit harder than necessary before she takes the shoes, sniffs 'em a bit, and wiggles her feet into them. ]

A bit big and not enough red, but they'll do! When we get somewhere dry, I'll draw you something. I am quite the artist, I'll have you know.

[bauhinia]

[ He lets out a very quiet grunt when she pats his shoulder. Girl, you are unusual. But that's okay, because he is unusual also, so he is okay with this. ] No reason you should have to go around in one shoe. Kinda like, uncomfortable, I guess.

Oh yeah? [ Hey, he likes to draw too, this is like. This is good, right? Having things in common is good. ] I can't wait to see it. But d'you wanna eat something first?

[legality]

[ She holds out her hand in his direction (she's a little too far to the left, but whatever shut up). ]

Feed me, new friend. Feed me.

[bauhinia]

[ Your lunch is... a canteen of instant noodles. I hope that works for you. ] Here you go. [ Sorry, he kinda ran out of bread for sandwiches. He deposits the canteen directly into her hand, then kinda pokes a fork into the space between her palm and the side of the container. ]

I've got tea too. I dunno if you do tea. I guess some people don't like it.

[legality]

[ Forks are for inferior beings. She sniffs it, sniffs the noodle container, sniffs the fork, tosses it on the ground, and tears the container apart with her teeth. Have they been cooked? Are they dry? Who the fuck cares. There will be no survivors.

This is what happens when you raise yourself in a tree. Manners are secondary to your cause. ]

Continue feeding me your delicious earthhuman delights. My dragonlike appetite must be appeased!

[bauhinia]

[ Of course they were cooked first! He's not a heathen.

Okay, that and how was he going to heat up water out here? Anyway, that's beside the point. He's just sort of inwardly marveling here. Not at her manners, though the fork-tossing did seem odd. Maybe he should've brought chopsticks instead.

Oh, nope. Never mind. We're going the teeth route. That's fine, that's okay. ]

You want more?

[legality]

I have been stuck on a shitty concrete grey meteor hurtling through space for a ridiculous amount of time. Everything tastes like artificial flavoring and pent-up hormonal frustration. Now I'm being exposed to wonderful, delicious things I have never tried before. If this doesn't continue, I am going to explode. [ She is taking her glasses off and giving him a firm stare-down. Which doesn't really work, since, you know, the whole burnt eyes thing. ]

[bauhinia]

[ But he stares back anyway. ]

Okay, sure. I gotcha. How about some fruit? [ He has a can of fruit in here, is that good? He will give you the fruit, miss troll person!! ]

[legality]

Is it colorful? [ Glasses back on. Her teenage panic has been appeased. ]

[bauhinia]

Uh, there's cherries and peaches or something. Sure, I'd say it's pretty colorful. [ Digging around for the can. ]

[legality]

[ boy you just said the magic words. ]

Cherries are my favorite. [ Remember when she was invading your personal space? Yeah, now she is outright burning it down. Can't find that can? Let Terezi help you by wallowing across your lap and shoving her hand into the bag, too. ]

[bauhinia]

[ Oh boy.

Troll in lap.

When did that happen. ]

Oh hey. Uh, no kidding. [ Take the cherries. Be his guest! Oh, wait, better let him open that first, actually. ] Careful, the edge's sharp, okay?

[legality]

[ wallow, wallow, wallow wallow grabbing that can swiftly like a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, and as mysteriously as the dark side of the moon

or something. ]

Oh, come on. I'm not a wiggler. I know how to eat food. [ She is still wallowing in his lap as she fishes cherries out and mutilates them with her teeth. Deal with it, nerd. ]

[bauhinia]

[ Oh, he's dealing with it all right. Just in the way where he kinda... stares... down at her. ]

Good? [ Meaning the food, but this could apply to several things right now. ]

[legality]

I suppose I should offer you one. Since it's your food and all. [ She eats half of a cherry and paps the rest at Hong Kong's mouth. She isn't incredibly selfish. Just a little bit. ]

Eat, eat!

[bauhinia]

Oh, thanks. [ There's a cherry in his face. Not sure how to feel about that.

Scratch that, half a cherry. ] I don't wanna take your food or anything though. I mean, I brought it for you. [ He's going to go a bit cross-eyed if he keeps staring at it. Time for a new solution: stare at something else. Okay, her, staring at Terezi now. ] Like you said, they're your favorites or something, right?

[legality]

You suuuuure? [ pap pap i hope you like cherry juices up your nose, man pap pap pap ]