text;

[legality]

[ There’s a post from Karkat’s communicator. Which is strange, considering how quiet he's been lately. By "quiet," I mean "dead." But no one's seen his body right? So maybe he survived the typhus? Yeah, that's the only explanation, otherwise he wouldn't be posting. ]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK MY NAME IS KARKAT FUCK.
NOW THAT MY IDENTITY HAS BEEN SUITABLY ASCERTAINED, IT’S FUCKING TIME TO GET TO SOME FUCKING BUSINESS FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

1) WHO HERE DO I HATE MORE SO THAN THE GENERAL HATE I HAVE FOR EVERYTHING THAT MOVES AND LOTS OF THINGS THAT DON’T MOVE?
PRONGS IN THE AIR, ASSHOLE. I WANT AN ACTUAL COUNT.
IF I’VE EVER SAID I HATE YOU IN GREAT DETAIL, JUST REMIND ME HERE.
POTENTIALLY WITH LINKS BECAUSE LINKS OR IT DOESN’T EXIST.

2) HAVE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES KILLED ME BEFORE?
I’M INCREDIBLY DUMB SOMETIMES SO I DON’T REMEMBER THESE THINGS, SO I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IN AN INCREDIBLY ANGRY MANNER IF YOU INFORMED ME OF THIS.

3) ALSO IF YOU’VE EVER INTRODUCED YOUR FIST TO MY FACE.
OR YOUR HOOF TO MY ASS.
OR ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO A BEATING.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INFORMATION THAT I NEED TO KNOW.

4) FINALLY, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN UP TO DURING THE LAST FEW HUMAN MONTHS.
THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT, YET AGAIN, BECAUSE I AM INFAMOUSLY STUPID, I’VE FORGOTTEN.

FUCK FUCK FUCK KARKAT SIGNING OFF FUCK ETC.

Comments

[text]

[bauhinia]

i'm guessing this is gonna be a long list

[text]

[knightime]

theres the angry sonofabitch
im going to just mosey on over now
since were neighbors
i cant be tamed
you cant stop me
knock motherfucking knock bro

text.

[dewebbed]

[ ok, he doesn't know karkat THAT well, but he's known him long enough that even karkat doesn't say fuck that much. or does he? hmmm ] Well, there was that whole thing with the possums.

[fierybluebird]

Remember that time with hookers and sickles?

[yourgoddamnit]

[ Quite some time after being revived (and possibly after meeting up with Terezi I don't know fuck time and fuck continuity): ]

WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE KAWAII SANDWICH GODS AM I WITNESSING.

video;;

[france]

[ France doesn't even know Karkat yet. He only talked to Terezi for a few minutes, and really has no idea what he's getting into. In fact, he wouldn't respond at all, except for the fact whoever this Karkat is managed to use the word 'fuck' sixteen times in what he's pretty sure is less than 200 words. That means 8% of that entire message was just the word fuck. Which is kind of a feat.

Since he sees absolutely no point in using the texting function when his beautiful voice could be used, he decides to send through a video message. ]

You know, if you are so intent on cursing, Karkat [ Sounds sort of like "car-cah" with his stupid accent. ] --you should learn some more interesting words, non?

[Text]

[crowsong]

You've searched for a missing shoe and drawn worse pictures than a kindergartner.

[kissthegrell]

I found my square and you can't haaaaave him!