discedo | text;

[ There’s a post from Karkat’s communicator. Which is strange, considering how quiet he's been lately. By "quiet," I mean "dead." But no one's seen his body right? So maybe he survived the typhus? Yeah, that's the only explanation, otherwise he wouldn't be posting. ]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK MY NAME IS KARKAT FUCK.
NOW THAT MY IDENTITY HAS BEEN SUITABLY ASCERTAINED, IT’S FUCKING TIME TO GET TO SOME FUCKING BUSINESS FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

1) WHO HERE DO I HATE MORE SO THAN THE GENERAL HATE I HAVE FOR EVERYTHING THAT MOVES AND LOTS OF THINGS THAT DON’T MOVE?
PRONGS IN THE AIR, ASSHOLE. I WANT AN ACTUAL COUNT.
IF I’VE EVER SAID I HATE YOU IN GREAT DETAIL, JUST REMIND ME HERE.
POTENTIALLY WITH LINKS BECAUSE LINKS OR IT DOESN’T EXIST.

2) HAVE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES KILLED ME BEFORE?
I’M INCREDIBLY DUMB SOMETIMES SO I DON’T REMEMBER THESE THINGS, SO I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IN AN INCREDIBLY ANGRY MANNER IF YOU INFORMED ME OF THIS.

3) ALSO IF YOU’VE EVER INTRODUCED YOUR FIST TO MY FACE.
OR YOUR HOOF TO MY ASS.
OR ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO A BEATING.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INFORMATION THAT I NEED TO KNOW.

4) FINALLY, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN UP TO DURING THE LAST FEW HUMAN MONTHS.
THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT, YET AGAIN, BECAUSE I AM INFAMOUSLY STUPID, I’VE FORGOTTEN.

FUCK FUCK FUCK KARKAT SIGNING OFF FUCK ETC.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'M KARKAT.
WHICH MEANS YOU WILL BE ON A LIST SOMEWHERE.
I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHICH LIST IT IS, BUT YOU'RE ON IT.
DON'T WORRY TOO MUCH THOUGH.
YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD OF A GUY. (PRETEND I SAID THAT IN A REALLY ANGRY WAY)

right, gotcha
karkat
don't worry, i won't tell anyone you said that

GOOD.
BECAUSE OTHERWISE MY WRATH WOULD BLUHBLUHBLUH LONGWINDED BULLSHIT THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY EVER PAYS ATTENTION TO.
IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY PATHETIC THAT SOMEONE WOULD SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON TEXTUAL VOMIT THAT NOT A SINGLE PERSON READS.
LIKE HE
I
I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT AND ENERGY INTO THESE INSULTS AND THESE ELABORATE METAPHORS, AND PEOPLE JUST SKIM RIGHT OVER THEM OR JUST GIVE UP ON THE CONVERSATION BECAUSE I AM THE GREATEST TL;DR IN EXISTENCE.

i dunno i think you're doing pretty well

IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS, SO DON'T DO THAT SHIT AGAIN.
BUT I WILL CHERISH IT ALWAYS.

Edited 2012-08-01 21:29 (UTC)

better watch it, you don't wanna imply i'm a nice guy or anything

YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHATEVER I WOULD EVER WANT TO POSSIBLY IMPLY.
SO PRETEND THIS CONVERSATION NEVER HAPPENED.
BETTER YET, PRETEND THIS CONVERSATION WAS ACTUALLY AN ARGUMENT WITH MYSELF.
SINCE THAT SEEMS TO BE A THING I LIKE DOING.

wait, so should i pretend to be karkat too?

AS MUCH FUN AS THAT WOULD BE, I THINK THAT THERE ONLY NEEDS TO BE ONE KARKAT.
WHO IS ME.

hey as long as you're cool w/being him

AND INDEED
I AM VERY COOL BEING HIM.
I AM EXCEPTIONALLY FUCKING COOL BEING HIM.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

i think maybe just two was enough at the end

FUCK
FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK FUCK
FUCK FUCK
FUCK

can you do a giant F?

Edited 2012-08-02 16:51 (UTC)

you can't hear it from there, but i'm clapping

is for the way u lick my face?

keep going i think i know how this one ends

[ blank message ]

the suspense is killing me here

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