text;

[legality]

[ There’s a post from Karkat’s communicator. Which is strange, considering how quiet he's been lately. By "quiet," I mean "dead." But no one's seen his body right? So maybe he survived the typhus? Yeah, that's the only explanation, otherwise he wouldn't be posting. ]

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK MY NAME IS KARKAT FUCK.
NOW THAT MY IDENTITY HAS BEEN SUITABLY ASCERTAINED, IT’S FUCKING TIME TO GET TO SOME FUCKING BUSINESS FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

1) WHO HERE DO I HATE MORE SO THAN THE GENERAL HATE I HAVE FOR EVERYTHING THAT MOVES AND LOTS OF THINGS THAT DON’T MOVE?
PRONGS IN THE AIR, ASSHOLE. I WANT AN ACTUAL COUNT.
IF I’VE EVER SAID I HATE YOU IN GREAT DETAIL, JUST REMIND ME HERE.
POTENTIALLY WITH LINKS BECAUSE LINKS OR IT DOESN’T EXIST.

2) HAVE ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES KILLED ME BEFORE?
I’M INCREDIBLY DUMB SOMETIMES SO I DON’T REMEMBER THESE THINGS, SO I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT IN AN INCREDIBLY ANGRY MANNER IF YOU INFORMED ME OF THIS.

3) ALSO IF YOU’VE EVER INTRODUCED YOUR FIST TO MY FACE.
OR YOUR HOOF TO MY ASS.
OR ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO A BEATING.
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS INFORMATION THAT I NEED TO KNOW.

4) FINALLY, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN UP TO DURING THE LAST FEW HUMAN MONTHS.
THIS IS IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT, YET AGAIN, BECAUSE I AM INFAMOUSLY STUPID, I’VE FORGOTTEN.

FUCK FUCK FUCK KARKAT SIGNING OFF FUCK ETC.

Comments

[legality]

THE B IS MY CUTE LITTLE NUBBY HORNS.
THE : ARE MY ANGRY OCULAR GLOBES, AND THE | IS MY NONIMPRESSED LIPS.

[fierybluebird]

I see. :|

[legality]

I SEE AS WELL.
BECAUSE THAT'S A THING I CAN DO.
SINCE I'M KARKAT. [ most ic ]

[fierybluebird]

Of course. And Karkat always finds his own horns "adorable."

[legality]

OH, CERTAINLY.
IN FACT, MORE PEOPLE SHOULD ALSO PROBABLY FIND THEM ADORABLE.
BECAUSE THEY ARE PRECIOUS AND NUBBY
WHICH IS ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD DESCRIPTOR FOR MYSELF.

[fierybluebird]

Precious and nubby?

I'll make sure to remind you of that in a week matey.

[legality]

EXCELLENT.
MAKE SURE TO PLACE PLENTY OF EMPHASIS ON THE PRECIOUS.
BECAUSE, LET'S FACE IT, I AM PRETTY FUCKING PRECIOUS.

[fierybluebird]

Oh yes, absolutely.

[legality]

NOW IT'S TIME FOR SERIOUS QUESTIONS, SO LET'S PUT ASIDE ALL TALK OF NUBBY HORNS AND CUTE TROLLS.






HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR SOMEONE TO REVIVE?
ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE ELSE IS SITTING ON TOP OF THE DEAD PERSON'S BODY.
HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, OF COURSE.
IT'S SUCH AN INSANE SCENARIO, THERE'S NO WAY IT WOULD EVER OCCUR.

[fierybluebird]

About a week.

Sometimes longer, sometimes just a day.

I waited for 3 weeks once and the person never returned. But I think two weeks is the longest without someone getting sent home.

[legality]

DANG.

I MEAN FUCKDAMNSHIT.
UGH OK.
A WEEK.
GOT IT.
THANKS FOR THE INFO.

[fierybluebird]

He'll be back soon, eh.

I'm sorry that he died at all though.

[legality]

NOPE, DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
NO DEATHS HERE, NOPE NOPE.
WE'VE PRETTY MUCH GOT THE ANTITHESIS TO DEATH.
HATCHING.
WE'VE HAD GRUBS HATCHED.
ME AND BENFROMLOST THE PRINNY-FLIPPERBEAST HAD SEVEN WONDERFUL GRUBS AND THEY'VE ALL GOT MY FEATURES.
LIKE MY RAGE AND MY ANNOYING SENSIBILITIES.

[fierybluebird]

Aha.

Mazel tov then.

But if you need some company in the meanwhile, I'll bring my coloring supplies or show you how I do it on the comm, eh?

[legality]

CONSIDERING I HAVE NO ART ABILITIES WHATSOEVER, BECAUSE MY NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS, I WOULD USUALLY DENY ANY OFFERINGS OF ARTISTIC EXPRESSION.
HOWEVER, MY BLOOD PUMP IS OVERFULL WITH LOVE AND CREATIVITY DUE TO MY NEW FLIPPERBEAST GRUBS, AND I THINK I WILL INDULGE IN YOUR OFFER OF FUCKING ART SUPPLIES ON THE FUCKING COMM.

[fierybluebird]

Aye, the birth and such of many grubs will do that, no doubt.

[Shows her a little bit of he does his comm doodles!]

[legality]

[ Terezi enjoys every last doodle, because seriously, there's not much else to enjoy when you've been sitting on top of Karkat's body for the past few days, refusing to sleep. ]

THANKS.

[fierybluebird]

Just show me what you draw when you get the chance, eh?

And if you want to play a word game or something let me know.