discedo | ≈ first breath; voice

[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]

Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?

Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]

[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]

That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?

I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.

[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?

I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?

[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.

Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.

Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.

Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]

[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sounds like a good idea. Good luck with that, yeah? [ Sooner's good. So's later. Any time is good, really. Flexibility is good, yeah? ]

[ It's probably coming together nicely as we speak.... ]

No worries. It's not like we have that much crap anyways.

[All the resources will be going to this. How ridiculous.]

Don't need too much here, honestly.

[ Utterly ridiculous. And somewhat awesome, a bit. ]

I guess so. It's nice having stuff though.

[If they were honest. It's kind of lame.]

Can't say I disagree with you. [ Yeeeah, he likes stuff. A lot. But far be it from him to complain here. ]

[ ... no, no. It's super cool. These two? They don't even know how to be uncool. ]

I guess the worst that can happen is that I get really bored here, but eh. [And Dave does like having useless reasons to complain.

They are the coolest of the cool.] Dave Strider, by the way. I think I've pronounced my love and even got small talk in without even introducing myself. Good thing I just fixed that shit just now.

Hopefully not. This place is way more interesting than it looks sometimes. [ Too interesting, maybe. For some people. He kind of gets the impression that Dave won't be one of those. ]

Pleasure. I'm Hong Kong. [ He bows his head briefly. ]

Got any good examples? You gotta try selling it at least. Convince me that I'm in for the time of my life. [After SBURB. Finding something that would be too interesting would be rare.]

Like the country. Hong Kong...as in the country. [Welp.] I'm going to believe you because I really have no reason not to and I've seen enough weird shit to believe it's legit.

Sure, okay. You've got us, right? Some people here are pretty interesting. We've got ninja, vampires, people who turn into animals, werevampires, and y'know about me. There's a few other countries here too, actually. America, England, China.

Thanks for that. Some people don't, so that's nice. [ He can't exactly change who he is, not that he'd want to. He likes being Hong Kong. ]

Why the fuck do we need vampires and werevampires. It's like they decided to regurgitate shitty romance, fantasy novels into this world. Or it's like a really terrible anime.

They'll warm up to it. Or think you're insane. Assuming they're even remotely in their right mind. Obviously the best course of action is to milk it for all its worth and fuck around with them.

I've got no idea. I can't even figure out what it actually means. Like, is just symptoms of both combined together or what? I would ask, but the guy's kinda tough to talk to. [ In the 'antagonistic and violent' sort of way, but also the 'pretending to be amnesiac and therefore not antagonistic and violent' way. Yeah. ]

Thinking I'm insane's fine. People think so anyway. Doesn't change the truth though, yeah? [ And trust me, he does love to mess with people. ]

I'd personally ask whoever it is, but I feel like that's a really terrible idea. [Would he like need to sustain himself on blood? But do it in a werewolf way? That sounds kind of terrifying to be honest.]

Naw. But if it makes them sleep at night, I guess denial is their new best friend.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. [ It does, right? ]

Denial must have a lotta best friends.

Good to know we both realize how much of a shitty idea that is.

Denial is a pretty popular person. Got all the swag and leaving none for others.

And dangerous. I'd like to keep my head on my shoulders, y'know? Personal preference.

[ He shrugs. ] Kinda stingy, if y'ask me.

Naw. I'm pretty sure I like my head where it is. It's a mutual feel.

Doesn't like to share. Asshole.

Good to know I'm not alone on that one.

Yeah, it's pretty rude, really.

I'm more worried about the people who don't think like we do.

Someone should tell them they need to cut that shit out.

There's probably like, a lot of them.

You'd think, right? I think they just do it more if you try to talk sense into them.

[He sighs, like he's somehow disappointed in these people that exist.]

Wow, why's this guy such a tool?

[ You and him both, bro. ]

I'd guess because it's fun to him.

Karma is going to be such a grade A bitch to him in the future.

They're like my otp. Or like, what's the troll thing. Kismesis?

I don't know. Kismet...fish? Kissmyass? Close enough.

[Dave is the worst at troll quadrants. Don't mind him.]

Something like that. I listened to Karkat explain it once.

[video]

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