≈ first breath; voice

[hammerkinds]

[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]

Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?

Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]

[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]

That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?

I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.

[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?

I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?

[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.

Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.

Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.

Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]

[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]

Comments

[knightime]

Are you calling me hot, John? I thought you were all about being a no homo. Or has that changed? [You walked into that one.]

[hammerkinds]

[Have the greatest of eye rolls Dave.]

Yeah, Dave, I'm totally calling you hot. On fire, even.

[knightime]

[Come on, don't be hating.]

Damn right, but I'll try to keep it down for your sake.

[hammerkinds]

I am so flattered by your thoughtfulness, you have no idea.

[He snickers, shoving Dave's shoulder.]

Dude, you are such a nerd.

[knightime]

Hold your flattery. I'm just being a good bro.

[Shoves you back.]

You're the nerd. Not me. I'm the really fucking coolkid. Get it right.

[hammerkinds]

The best bro a guy could have!

[Oh no is this going to turn into a shoving war.]

You are not convincing anyone with that. I know it is shocking, Dave, but we are both probably nerds!

[knightime]

Of course.

[He will win. Mark his words, John.]

I'm not the one into really terrible movies. All my tastes in things are refined and flawless.

[hammerkinds]

[Nope, John is going to win!!]

They aren't terrible! They are really great.

[knightime]

[Nope.]

They're really terrible movies, John. Only you believe they aren't.

[hammerkinds]

This coming from the guy who collects dead shit. You are not really convincing me here!

[knightime]

My dead shit is cool. It's a completely fine hobby so fuck you.

[hammerkinds]

No way, dude, it's pretty gross. Doesn't it creep you out at all?

[knightime]

Hell no. That shit is awesome.

[hammerkinds]

No way, it is really creepy. Kind of like how puppets are creepy.

[knightime]

It's not that creepy! It's like dissecting fetal pigs and shit, except you don't dissect them at all and just keep them preserved.

Fuck off. We're not talking about puppets.

[hammerkinds]

[Grinning and chuckling.]

I thought you used to think they were sooo cool.

[knightime]

I don't want to talk about it. [Because this topic is creeping him out and it's hitting territory he doesn't want to talk about.]

Fine you win. They're creepy as shit and not as cool as i thought they were.