discedo | ≈ first breath; voice

[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]

Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?

Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]

[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]

That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?

I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.

[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?

I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?

[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.

Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.

Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.

Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]

[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ouch. I felt it. Oh wait, that's just my toes from earlier. But my eyes are open. I've seen the lig-oh shit I can't use that with you. Damn.

Furry...demon in the walls? You're going to have to try and get as descriptive as you can. I'm assuming he's trying to feed you rats though. Rats are usually known to carry diseases on them, so it's probably not something you want to eat without being a little thorough with what you're doing. [Plus, that's just gross. And stupid.]

It's not a sandwich unless it's between two pieces of bread. And even then, that still doesn't necessarily make it delicious. Is he on something? Other than whatever he's trying to feed you.

No, I just think Karkat's stupid. Incredibly stupid. Embarrassingly stupid. Which is something that will never change. I'm only surprised it took him this long to try and feed me ratbeast demongrubs. Here, hold on, I'll show you 'em.

[ She gets up, taking the communicator with her. You'll get to see parts of their shitty hive, with broken doors and an incredibly disgusting looking couch, and all sorts of shit on the floors. Pre-Great Fire London of 1666 would be proud, if they weren't all dying of plague.

Finally, she reaches the bathroom and the bathtub, where a hoard of baby demons are trapped, each with a noose tying it to the faucet. ]

They hiss when they're hungry! Also that one froths bubblefoam from its mouth sometimes. It's pretty strange. [ and is probably rabies. ]

Are they food material, almighty sandwich god?

Has Karkat shoved trashy trollmance novels in your face? That was embarrassingly stupid. Not as bad as when he got smacked with the bucket, but it would have been equally embarrassing if it wasn't just Rose, Kanaya, and myself. [And he's not going to even mention the part where he tried to fucking make a schedule to share you of all people.] Uh...

Okay. Those are probably worst than rats. I think those are possums. And if they foam from the mouth it probably means rabies. You don't want rabies. Rabies, believe it or not, can kill you. So you probably don't want to make sandwiches out of them.

Better yet, you want to get rid of them. Kill them. Somet-did you seriously tie nooses around their necks? Wait, why did I bother asking? Of course you did.

So... Wait, woah, hold on. Just so everything's totally clarified here-- you just gave me the all-clear to execute these furry little nuggets, right? [ Terezi why are you so happy about this. ]

[Ugh, fuck. Dilemma. On one hand, they're animals and you shouldn't kill them. But at the same time...]

Out of sight, out of mind. I don't want you wearing them. I don't want to see them ever again. If you show me a dead rodent because you're so proud of what you did, I will have to revoke your smelling me privileges for awhile. You will miss my cherry smells and it will suck.

Seriously, I really don't need dead baby animals shoved into my face.

[ You have given her and Karkat permission to reenact everything Theon Greyjoy did in season 2 of Game of Thrones. Everyone will regret this. ]

It's a deal, then. No full fuzzy dead baby animals shoved into anyone's faces.

Edited 2012-06-15 15:22 (UTC)

Also no play by plays. Possums are banned from storytime. [Whatever. It's not his problem if she tells everyone else. As long as it's not him, he's cool.]

So it sounds like we're gonna be your new neighbors. Better be ready for when I want a cup of sugar. Better have that shit on the ready. Can't tame this Strider when he wants to get his major bake on.

Except there's probably a ban on baking because John has some crazy aversion to it at this point.

≈ first breath; voice

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