( text; dated April 21, mid-afternoon )

[yourgoddamnit]

-- CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board APOCALYPTIC FUCKTOWN THE SEQUEL: RETURN OF COURIER FONT VISUAL ASSAULT --

HELLO AGAIN, DISCEDO.

YOU KNOW
THIS IS GENERALLY THE PART WHERE I WOULD START RANTING ABOUT THE INJUSTICE OF THIS WORLD AND EVERY UNIVERSE THAT ORBITS THE GREEN SUN.
(AKA ALL OF THEM.)
THIS IS THE PART THAT SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INCOHERENT RAGE, A PANIC ATTACK, AND AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
BUT NO.
ANY ATTEMPT AT GENUINELY SERIOUS, HEARTFELT DISCUSSION ABOUT MY RETURN WAS KILLED THE MOMENT THE SCIENTISTS DECIDED TO DROP ME INTO FLOODWATERS THAT SHARE THE SAME CONSISTENCY AND SMELL AS HELL'S DIARRHEA.

I AM CURRENTLY TYPING THIS FROM THE S.S. MURPHY'S LAW.
IT'S ACTUALLY JUST A FUCKING PLASTIC BIN BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, IT'S TOO MUCH FUCKING EFFORT TO PUT ME ON DRY LAND OR ACTUALLY FASHION ME A REAL BOAT.
SINCE I'M SUCH A DRAIN ON PRECIOUS RESOURCES, ONE HAS TO WONDER WHY IN ALL THE FUCKS THAT WERE EVER GIVEN THAT I'VE BEEN BROUGHT BACK TO THIS UNIVERSE.
SERIOUSLY.
THIS IS THE MOST ABSURD, TIME-WASTING EVENT THAT COULD HAPPEN.
I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE WHO IS CURRENTLY TRAPPED FOR AN UNFATHOMABLE AMOUNT OF TIME ON AN ACTUAL SHIP AS IT TRAVELS THROUGH MONOTONOUS EXPANSES OF NOTHINGNESS
WHICH IS OCCASIONALLY INTERRUPTED BY POCKETS OF THE AFTERLIFE.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW
SHIT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH BACK IN MY OWN UNIVERSE.
NOPE.
THE ONLY BENEFIT TO ARRIVING IN A FLOODED, DEAD WASTELAND IS THAT I HAVE LITTLE TO NO CHANCE OF ENCOUNTERING A DEAD VERSION OF MYSELF FROM ANOTHER TIME LINE.
GODDAMN IT NOW I'M ACTUALLY MEASURING THE WORTH OF THIS UNIVERSE AND SERIOUSLY CONTEMPLATING WHETHER OR NOT THIS IS A WELCOME BREAK.

BACKTRACKING.
RETURNING TO FURY IN 3... 2...
I AM PADDLING MY WAY UP SHIT CREEK WITH A FUCKING SIGN THAT READS "GOOD FRIENDS GATHER HERE."
THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE AMOUNTS OF IRONY RIGHT HERE.
SO MUCH IRONY THAT THE CAPED CRUSADER'S THINK PAN WOULD EXPLODE.
LUCKILY I'VE MANAGED TO PLUG A HOLE IN MY VESSEL WITH THE MOST STUPIDLY REMARKABLE PRODUCT EVER CONCEIVED.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT "TAMPONS" ARE
BUT THEY LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE LIMITLESS APPLICATIONS.
AND APPLICATORS, WHATEVER THE FUCK DIFFERENCE THAT MAKES????
DON'T CARE.

FIRST THING'S FIRST:
ERI POTTER
JAPAN THE SANDWICH FACTORY
BENFROMLOST
THE NON-LETHAL JACK
BIRDSEED
WINCHESTERS 1 AND 2
WHOEVER THE FUCK I USED TO INTERACT WITH ON A REGULAR BASIS
(NO OFFENSE IT'S JUST BEEN A WHILE AND SO MUCH SHIT HAS GONE DOWN BETWEEN THEN AN NOW MY MEMORIES ARE MOSTLY FILLED WITH MURDER AND HORROR)

WHO'S STILL HERE, AND WHO CAN TOW ME TO MY OLD HIVE.
I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODS IN ALL THE WORLDS, IF THAT PLACE IS FLOODED/OCCUPIED/STILL OCCUPIED BY THE OPOSSUM DEMON, I WILL FLIP SO MUCH SHIT THAT YOU'LL HAVE TO BUILD A WHOLE NEW SEWAGE PLANT TO PROCESS ALL OF IT.

Comments

[fierybluebird]

Which one's Birdseed again?

[Marco really misses the others. Way too much.]

[yourgoddamnit]

THAT WOULD BE YOU.

[ he is not alone 8( ]

[fierybluebird]

Japan just went home a week ago. [Aka Marco has FEELINGS. In a depressed leading to uber depressed leading to "never let them see you cry" kind of way.]

Eridan, Tavros, and both Winchesters are also gone. Castiel too.

I'd help you out, but I'm still miles away trying to deal with more of those skin-stealing fuckers. Not that you'd remember them I suppose.

Your apartment is probably flooded though, Tatsumi had to move everything out of the ground floor.... and I'm not sure you'd want his help. Since he attacked you when he got his chip out if I remember right?

[yourgoddamnit]

THAT SUCKS.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.

[ Karkat is similar, except people see him cry all the fucking time. He just likes to pretend that he's a tough guy who doesn't want people to see him cry.

This time though, he's stony. "Gone home" is not "dead with blood pouring out of every orifice" so it's not too hard to hold it together. ]

FIGURES THE FUCKING RAINBOW DRINKER WOULD STILL BE HERE AFTER EVERYONE ELSE HAD GONE HOME.
JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT AT THE END OF THE WORLD, AS A UNIVERSE TOTTERS ON THE BRINK OF DEATH, THEY STILL PERSIST.

...HERE'S TO HOPING THE WINCHESTERS AND THEIR SOCIALLY AWKWARD COMPANION DON'T HAVE A SHITTY HOME LIFE.
AND
ERI AND TAV...
FUCK.
SEEING THEM AGAIN DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY EASIER.
I'LL JUST TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THEY'RE IN A BETTER PLACE.
AND THEY ARE, I GUESS.
THEY ALL SEEM HAPPY.
AT LEAST ERIDAN DID.
WELL, AN ALTERNATE ERIDAN.
FUCK DEATH IS A CONFUSING BUSINESS.

I'M JUST GOING TO CUT MYSELF OFF RIGHT THERE BEFORE SHIT GETS REAL.

[fierybluebird]

Ah... actually I'd kind of prefer you went on. Since I thought Alternia blew up and you were all stuck in the Veil or whatever.

[yourgoddamnit]

WE WERE.
THEN ERIDAN, GAMZEE, AND VRISKA SIMULTANEOUSLY LOST THEIR SHIT AND DECIDED TO BINGE ON MURDER LIKE A PIRATE BINGES ON BOOZE.
POINT BEING
THERE'S ONLY A FEW OF US LEFT NOW.
JUST ME, TEREZI, GAMZEE, AND KANAYA.
I MEAN IF YOU DON'T COUNT ARADIA AND SOLLUX
SINCE SOL IS HALF DEAD AND THEY'RE BOTH OUT HANGING OUT IN THE DREAM BUBBLES OF THE DEAD.
THE REST OF US ARE TRAVERSING SPACE AND BASICALLY ARE STUCK ON A MIND-PROPELLED METEOR FOR YEARS UNTIL WE REACH THE NEW SESSION.

I CAN GUESS YOU CAN ONLY UNDERSTAND A FRACTION OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
BUT ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT MOST OF US ARE DEAD.

[fierybluebird]

I think I got all of that except "New Session."

Ah, what do you mean about Eridan? He lost it and got killed after going on a murder spree himself?

[yourgoddamnit]

A NEW SESSION OF THE GAME.
JUST
IT'S A LONG STORY.
LET'S STICK WITH "NEW UNIVERSE."
NOT WHOLLY ACCURATE BUT I'M IN NO MOOD TO EXPLAIN THE CONVOLUTED WORKINGS OF SGRUB AND SBURB AND WHATEVER THE FUCK ELSE IT'S CALLED.

AND YES.
YOU'VE GOT IT.
GOT CHAINSAWED RIGHT THE FUCK IN HALF BY ONE OF HIS OWN VICTIMS.
AGAIN.
LONG STORY.

[fierybluebird]

Sure fine.

Chainsawed... by another troll?

[yourgoddamnit]

BY KANAYA.

[fierybluebird]

That sounds painful. Not much hope for him then?

[yourgoddamnit]

ARE YOU
MAKING
A FUCKING JOKE.
ARE YOU SERIOUSLY MAKING A "HOPE" JOKE AFTER MY FRIEND FUCKING DIED?
TROLL JEGUS CRACKERS, HE MIGHT'VE BEEN A MURDEROUS ASSHOLE
AND I WAS PRETTY CLOSE TO WRINGING HIS NECK MYSELF
BUT HE WAS MY ASSHOLE MURDEROUS FRIEND.
SO DON'T YOU DARE MAKE LIGHT OF THAT SHIT.

[fierybluebird]

Karkat, I wanted to adopt him and I miss him daily.

I'm not making light of it.

[yourgoddamnit]

RIGHT.
FINE.
SORRY.
I'M JUST ON EDGE.
IT'S THE SORT OF RESPONSE I'D EXPECT.
I DON'T KNOW WHO FROM BUT I'M EXPECTING ANY MINUTE FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HOW THE PRINCE OF HOPE HAS NO HOPE.
OR HOW THE WITCH OF LIFE IS DEAD.
OR JUST ANY NUMBER OF FUCKING CRUEL THINGS.
I'M NOT SURE WHY I'M EXPECTING IT.
MAYBE BECAUSE AT LEAST ERIDAN STILL DESERVES SOME SCORN FOR THE TERRIBLE SHIT HE DID
AND I'M NOT THE ONE WHO CAN PROPERLY SCORN HIM.
NOT ANYMORE.

1/2

[fierybluebird]

I really...

[fierybluebird]

I've been betrayed and had an ex-nakama kill my brother and best friend before. And my father.

I don't fully understand the circumstances with Eridan, but he was always a little bit of kindness short of losing it completely. Unlike Blackbeard who planned what he did all along. If anything, I guess that's less comforting because you can't just straight-out purely hate him. Still too much pity, ne?

What will you do if Eridan shows up here again?

[yourgoddamnit]

IGNORING THE ROMANTIC CONNOTATIONS OF USING WORDS LIKE "HATE" AND "PITY" AND SIMPLY REFERRING TO THEM IN THE PLATONIC SENSE...
YEAH.
AS MUCH AS HE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT GENOCIDE, I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT SENT HIM OVER THE EDGE.
IT WAS NIHILISM.
THE FUCKING HOPELESSNESS OF OUR SITUATION.
OR THE PERCEIVED HOPELESSNESS, ANYWAY
NOT THAT MATTERS HAVE MUCH IMPROVED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A NAKAMA IS OR ANY OF THAT JAPAN-SOUNDING BULLSHIT, SO I CAN'T REALLY SAY MUCH ON THAT.
JUST THAT AS FURIOUS AS I WAS WITH HIM AT THE TIME, I CAN'T REALLY BRING MYSELF TO REALLY HATE HIM ANYMORE.

AND I DON'T KNOW.
IT DEPENDS.
WHICH ERIDAN ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?
BECAUSE I'VE COME ACROSS MORE THAN A FEW DEAD ERIDANS ON MY JOURNEY
ALL FROM DIFFERENT TIME LINES AND SHIT.

[fierybluebird]

That's got to be disturbing.

[yourgoddamnit]

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT.

[fierybluebird]

Did they all die the same way?

[yourgoddamnit]

THEY WERE ALL MURDERED IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING.
METHOD OF MURDER AND HOW MUCH THEY DESERVED IT VARIED.

[fierybluebird]

So it's like some kind of inescapable destiny?

[yourgoddamnit]

LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY:
THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS THAT ARE "SUPPOSED" TO HAPPEN.
THOSE DICTATE THE ALPHA TIME LINE.
THEN THERE ARE OTHER PATHS THAT ARE OFFSHOOTS OF THE MAIN TIME LINE
BUT THOSE ARE CALLED "DOOMED" TIME LINES.
YOU CAN ONLY GUESS WHAT THAT IMPLIES.
UNFORTUNATELY, IT LOOKS LIKE THEIR DEATHS WERE ALL NECESSARY FOR TIME TO PROGRESS AS IT "SHOULD"
SUPPOSEDLY FOR THE BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME.

[fierybluebird]

That blows.

Maybe they'll show up here then, eh?

But I'm glad you're still alive.

[yourgoddamnit]

IT WOULDN'T MATTER EITHER WAY.
I'D STILL SEE THEM IN THE DREAM BUBBLES.
BEFORE YOU ASK, IT'S THE AFTERLIFE.
AND NO I DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.

YEAH.
WELL.
GUESS I AM TOO.

[ but being alive and having contact with the dead always brings on an existential crisis that he doesn't really want to think about atm ]