discedo | 1st ♒ Text

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i dont rightly feel i owwe anyone wwho might be residin in this place a damn introduction but ill alloww this one exception
be grateful
im eridan ampora prince a hope and i knoww damn wwell i deservve a full explanation elucidatin wwhere and wwhy im in this wworld
this is hardly evven wwithin a close proximity a wwhere i should be and wwhile im not outright complainin about these unexpected turn of evvents i feel it wwithin my fuckin right to be informed a wwhere i am and wwhy
is there evven anyone i knoww here
ivve my staggerin doubts on that though
pretty damn sure theyre all back on that horrid meteor wwith their alienatin pretentious self-absorbed attitudes
or maybe just dead
either wway is this evven truly reachin anyone

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If you ever get your chip out. I'd like a demonstration of this 'holy fury' of yours.

[...]

wwhat do you mean IF i do
didnt you say you had the ability to removve it

I do, but I never said I would now did I?

wway to be entirely fuckin shitty for no reason
but fine i can deal wwith this bullshit sorta attitude
im USED to it
howw about a proposition then
if you do this favvor for me i suppose i can lowwer myself to owwin you some sorta favvor
dependin on wwhat it is of course
i reservve my right to deny it if its somethin far too ridiculous or not a fair equivvalent

A favor hm~? Tempting.

I might be willing to do it for that if you can prove you're interesting enough for my tastes.

im more than fuckin interestin
im dowwnright breath takin if i do say so myself
and i do

so are wwe doin this or wwhat im not about to be tugged around wwhen this matter is decidedly MORE than trivvial

I suppose we can have a little meeting so I can see for myself just how 'breath taking' you are.

Lets just see how you measure up to my standards of interesting.

fine
state wwhen and wwhere
preferably sooner than later i dont exactly wwant to be stuck in this fuckin wworld wwithout a means a defense

Then how about right now? I can come to you.

sure
noww seems as good a time as evver seein as i wwant this damn thing gone immediately
uh but im not exactly sure wwhere i am to givve you directions to find me

Don't worry. I can find you easy enough.

[Action]

[A few key strokes of her computer later and Washu has his position. Cue the petite red-head walking out the nearest doorway and smiling as she approaches.]

Now wow me.

[He stares at the message with a quirked brow, because honestly what? But then there she is, coming out of some damn doorway like she's magic--but she can't be magic, because that shit is fakest fiction that ever failed to exist.]

You mean you're not already wowed by the wery sight a me?

[Oh yes, Eridan's ego certainly is something to marvel over, isn't it?]

Look, a good chunk a my potential and "wowin'" is sealed with this bullshit piece a rubbish chip, but ewen still, I'm genetically perfect, as if your ganderbulbs weren't alertin' your faculties of that information already.

[He nonchalantly adjusts his thick rimmed glasses before eying her over and finally crossing his arms over his chest.]

Now honestly, stop bein' utterly fuckin' useless and get this thing outta me.

[Washu has something much, much better then magic on her side. She has an understanding of science and phsyics to aide her in whatever she wants to do.]

Nope~. Going to have to do better then that.

[Sorry Eridan, her ego's bigger then yours. Good luck with that.]

As for being genetically perfect I can see you aren't. I've created genetic perfection before. You're nowhere near that. Though you do make quite the interesting specimen of your race.

Are all of the trolls this diverse in looks? I have yet to see a single one with similar horns.

[And that's perfect in Eridan's mind, science is way better than that phoney magic anyways!]

Of shut your blatherin' protein chute, I am perfect and there's nothin' some pink haired space monkey is gonna say that changes that irrefutable fact.

[In his irritation, his fins have flared a bit as he glares at her, lip in a snarl.]

Yes, we're a wery diwerse race, the only troll that would bear resemblin' horns is our ancestor, and that's about it. I, howewer, am at the top of the hemospectrum, the rulin' class of our species. In other words, I'm no commonblood, I'm royal as fuck down to my wery weins and the purple hue coursin' through 'em.

[A gesture to his fins.] An' unless you'we met Fef, which I doubt, you hawen't seen a sea dweller like myself outta the collectiwe group that's here. I'm genetically superior to the others in ewery way.

[Yeah he can casually brag about how great he is, it's really easy when he's an egotist.]

First off, I'm Juraian not a monkey. If you want an evolved monkey, you better find a human. Second the fact that your race works on the color of your blood means you have a rather archaic caste system that most civilizations have already worked past.

Thirdly, the fact that there is variants of your blood means that there are several genetic anomalies that have mutated through out your species. I can only assume selective breeding has promoted this particular genetic flaw to permeate your kind.

Now seeing as there two different types of trolls, land and sea dwelling as you just pointed out means that this evolutionary split happened some time ago. I think I can safely conclude that with that split so did the anomalies start to appear. Until further research can be conducted, I will assume this has to do with an environmental shift on your planet of origin.

[She pauses enough to take her full adult height of 5'11 and pokes his forehead for a moment. Sorry egoist, she's going to crush your ego under her own backed with science.]

Now~ As for your genetic 'perfection'. You are basing this off your blood color and what type of troll you are correct? It may be true you have an advantage over your land dwelling counter parts, but that's about it.

What I see is a unique genetically diverse species that warrants further study especially into this defect that produces various colored blood all within the same race. I bet your DNA will be fascinating.

Now, as for your claim to royalty. Sorry your highness but I don't bow down to anyone. I arguably can be considered on equal footing with the King of Jurai and his entire armada all by my lonesome so your claim really doesn't matter to me.

[He stares at her with a quirked brow as she prattled on. Well, he can definitely appreciate the fact she's going into this scientifically, but it's obvious she doesn't know much. But with that poke to his forehead, he snarls and swats at her hand. How DARE she touch him, augh!]

Yeah we seadwellers did ewolwe from landdwellers a long fuckin' time ago, but there's not much about selectiwe breedin', more so how we reproduce as a race. We can mate with anyone from any caste and the result will be the fuckin' same. Though I don't know why anyone would want to fill either concupiscent quadrant with a lowblood, seein' as they're biologically inferior and utterly disposable.

Also, shut your hornless-trap about our heirarchy, it's worked for us for thousands of sweeps, our race is far more adwanced than any of the surroundin' planets and star systems, considerin' how we'we conquered a good portion of the damn galaxy with relatiwe ease--in other words, I don't want to hear any lip from you about our perfect societal structure that's prowed to work without a problem for such a extended amount a time.

Someone like you just doesn't understand the importance of bloodlines.

[By the end of that, he's just staring at her indignantly, he isn't even the slightest bit bothered or intimidated by her, even if she's got a good 6 inches or so on him and way more knowledge.]

And I don't care about your standin' within' your own race, it's below me. You're a mock wersion of a human as far as I can tell and that's all that really needs to be said. I'll admit you're obwiously smarter than them, I will giwe credit where it's due, but your King is below my Empress.

So has the Juraian Empire.

I also understand the supposed importance of 'bloodlines' and find it to be complete bullshit. What right does someone with certain privileges have to decide the fate of someone else?

[He may have struck a nerve there.]

Personally? I find the Emperor a joke myself. But his military isn't. But~, you're right that doesn't matter here and neither does your standing with your own race. With that settled, you still have yet to impress me.

[She smiles and takes a step back and places her hands on her hips.]

I'm waiting. There's got to be more to you then your social standing or are you just a guppy in a big pond~?

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[text] omg eridan no you dont even know what you are doing

[text] hehe

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