discedo | 1st ♒ Text

Entry tags:

1st ♒ Text

i dont rightly feel i owwe anyone wwho might be residin in this place a damn introduction but ill alloww this one exception
be grateful
im eridan ampora prince a hope and i knoww damn wwell i deservve a full explanation elucidatin wwhere and wwhy im in this wworld
this is hardly evven wwithin a close proximity a wwhere i should be and wwhile im not outright complainin about these unexpected turn of evvents i feel it wwithin my fuckin right to be informed a wwhere i am and wwhy
is there evven anyone i knoww here
ivve my staggerin doubts on that though
pretty damn sure theyre all back on that horrid meteor wwith their alienatin pretentious self-absorbed attitudes
or maybe just dead
either wway is this evven truly reachin anyone

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

so i really HAVVE been here before
i guess i can believve you more than some stupid human i dont evven knoww
and wwhats all this about your rage you did little to fuckin nothin wwhen that rage wwould havve been handy for the others and lookin through that tapestry a tongues your stupid little grey wwords havve wwovven together youvve obvviously got the faintest a clues at wwhat im talkin about
also fuck you im the prince a hope and no preconceivved and unjustly placed title as leader is gonna alloww you to do any demotin of the sort

Edited 2012-08-16 00:26 (UTC)

TOO LATE.
I AM THE REIGNING KING OF THIS VERITABLE CESSPOOL.
I PAID THE IRON PRICE AND NOW THE THRONE IS MINE.
YOUR DEMOTION IS FINAL.
YOU MAY SUBMIT ALL COMPLAINTS TO THE DEPARTMENT OF "HAHA NO CHANCE, BUTTMUNCH" LOCATED DIRECTLY IN MY FISTS.
IF YOU RUN REALLY HARD INTO THEM WHILE SCREAMING I WILL DIRECT YOUR CONCERNS TO HUMAN RESOURCES.
BUT I CAN'T PROMISE THEY WON'T EAT YOU THERE.

[ None of this making any sense? Good. ]

I WILL BE A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT TO INFORM YOU YES
YOU WERE HERE BEFORE.
YOU CAN BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME AND I DOUBT IT MATTERS TO ANYONE ELSE.
THOUGH I GUESS BOTH YOU AND I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL THAT YOUR RETURN HERE WAS THROUGH NORMAL MEANS AND NOT THE PLACE WHERE THAT TERRIFYING STATUE WAS HUNTING US DOWN.
OH YEAH
NOW THAT YOU'RE BACK I CAN ACTUALLY SAY
YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE ANGELS.
IT IS PROBABLY THE ONLY THING YOU'VE EVER BEEN RIGHT ABOUT IN YOUR SHORT EXISTENCE BUT JEGUS CRACKERS SMOTHERED IN BLOOD, THOSE THINGS ARE HORRIFYING.
THE FULL EXPLANATION IS A LONG STORY THAT I FRANKLY WON'T GO INTO.

[ because it involves him being worried about Eridan, delirious with fever, running from a weeping angel, then keeling over dead from disease. but mostly it's the first thing he'd rather not own up to. not at the moment, anyway. ]

I COULD DECIPHER YOUR MEANING BUT LET'S BE HONEST
THE FUCKS I GIVE ABOUT YOUR OPINION ARE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NEGATIVE TEN AND NOPE.

Edited 2012-08-16 00:39 (UTC)

you can remain a illegitimate king a assbloods and rubbish
ill take no part in bein under your rule ill keep my title and raise you YET another fuck you
but i really honestly havvent the slightest at wwhat youre blatherin about in terms of some statue
but good of fuckin course i wwas right but go figure you dont evver listen to a goddamn wword that comes outta my chute unlike anyone wwith a modicum of sense wwould but regardless of the details wwhich i dont givve half a flippin shit about i can justly say i fuckin told you so

somehoww im horrendously unsurprised by this fact kar
so tell me are you not wwantin me dead because a cowwardice or do you honestly not care about your fallen team

Edited 2012-08-16 00:54 (UTC)

THE ONLY THING MY ASSBLOOD WILL BE DOING IS SITTING ON THE IRON THRONE.
YOU DON'T REALIZE THE EXTENT OF MY POWER, FISHFUCKER.
THE ASS OF MY BLOOD IS ACTUALLY SALT.
THE RUBBISH OF MY SOUL IS IRON.
RAINBOW DRINKERS HAVE RIPPED MY THROAT OUT, ANGELS HAVE FORCED MY EYES OPEN FOR ENDLESS HOURS AGAINST THE BLINK OF DEATH, AND POSSUM POISON ROTTED MY BODY FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
NOT EVEN DEATH CAN SLOW DOWN MY QUEST.
WHAT IS DEAD MAY NEVER DIE.

BITCH.

[He's totally looking over your shoulder dude.]

[ Karkat has emerged from his mancave (read: the closet) to go get some food while angrily typing to Eridan. While waiting for a reply it happens.

He doesn't even turn to look. He knows Gamzee is there. He can sense him. He can smell his stankass clown breath breathing over his shoulder. Karkat grits his teeth and keeps gripping his communicator like he's strangling it. ]

What. What do you want?

[He's just going to smile at him. Like he's totally not creeping on you.]

He gonna up and live here too? Do we gotta flood the tub for him?

[ Between Terezi, BenfromLost, and his past friendship with Japan, he's used to it. ]

I fucking suppose so. [ BIG EXASPERATED SIGH like the very idea repulses him but he has no choice, when in actuality it's his plan in the first place to get all the trolls living together in one hive. ]

If he can't figure out his own water accommodations, I'm just going to stick his head in the load gaper until he becomes hydrophobic.

[ type type typing angry replies ]

But if he comes whining to you about it, do whatever you want.

[ Okay his stupidity quota has been reached, now he can actually be serious for a few more moments. ]

I'M NOT WANTING YOU DEAD FOR SEVERAL REASONS ACTUALLY.
THE FIRST BEING THAT YOU'RE MY FRIEND
EVEN IF YOU ARE A MURDEROUS ASSHOLE.
THE SECOND IS THAT THERE WOULDN'T BE MUCH OF A POINT.
NOT HERE, NOT FROM MY TIME LINE, NOT IN GENERAL.
UNLESS YOU DECIDE TO BE AN UTTER DICKTWIDDLER HERE BUT I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO GO INTO THAT.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO THINK ABOUT THAT.
IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.

IF YOU REALLY WANT I COULD COME UP WITH AN ELABORATE REVENGE SCHEME
BUT
I'M JUST SO FUCKING TIRED OF EVERYTHING.
YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT EVERYTHING WEAR ON MY ALREADY FRAYED NERVES.

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION THE STATUES ARE THE ANGELS.
DON'T BLINK.
LIKE NOT EVEN SHITTING YOU, YOU SEE AN ANGEL STATUE, YOU STARE THAT BITCH DOWN LIKE IT STOLE YOUR SANDWICHES.
AND DON'T LOOK IT IN THE EYE.
I'M CONCEDING TO YOU THAT YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THE ANGELS.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ADVICE, BUT IF YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MINIMIZING THE TIMES YOU DIE HERE, YOU'LL PROBABLY WANT TO LISTEN TO ME.

[He really wasn't expecting that at all, and maybe with the tl;dr, honestly Karkat shut up you blabber mouth, he's decided to chill his tits, put them on a low simmer for the time being.]

so evven after that you still consider me a friend
huh
wwell fine but youre NOT my king no matter wwhat you say
not evven my leader im my owwn fuckin troll and thats THAT
and if you wwanna do wwith the revvenge i wwont complain
but theres somethin amiss here
wwhat the fuck do you mean minimizin the times i die kar i dont knoww if this place has utterly racked your skull asunder wwith its angels and disease and made you some lobeless drool-lipped idiot since i last saww ya but
you only die once
but sure
fine
ill be sure to cast the damn angel statues a fuckin stare dowwn for the centuries if itll keep the bloody things off my husk
or i could just kill them like i did the angels on lowwaa
not like im incapable of it like the lot of ya

Edited 2012-08-16 03:57 (UTC)

YOU REALIZE THAT 90% OF MY KINGSHIP IS DELUSION AND THE OTHER 10% IS BASTARDIZATION, RIGHT.
HOWEVER THIS IS MY FUCKED UP REALITY AND I REFUSE TO RELINQUISH IT FOR SANITY.

SO FIRST LESSON:
DEATH IS NOT PERMANENT IN THIS UNIVERSE.
YOU CAN THANK THE WONDERS OF SCIENTISTS WHO PLAY THE ROLE OF GODS.
YOU'LL JUST RESPAWN AT THE ABANDONED MEDICAL FACILITY.
I STILL DON'T RECOMMEND IT UNLESS YOU'RE SUFFERING A SHITTON.

FOR ONCE I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO ENDORSE YOUR VIOLENT TENDENCIES.
GO TO FUCKING TOWN.
GO LOWAA ALL OVER THESE ANGELS.
I WILL PERSONALLY PUT THE SHITTY GUN IN YOUR HANDS AND HAVE A PICNIC WITH YOU ON THE PLANET OF YOUR CHOICE IF YOU ERADICATE THESE STONE MONSTROSITIES.

[Obviously going to gloss over the rest of that for the one thing that actually matters:]

you really mean that

I MEANT EVERYTHING I JUST SAID.
I HAVE A FEELING YOU FOCUSED ON THE ONE THING THAT CONCERNS YOU SINCE YOU'RE A NARCISSISTIC PILE OF FUCK
BUT YEAH.
I'LL EVEN BRING THE SANDWICHES TO THE PICNIC.
THEY ARE TOP NOTCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

[ you do not want to eat Karkat's food ]

no i didnt i just didnt havve much to say in regards to the rest

[fucking liar.]

then i suggest you get to fuckin wwork on those sandwwiches because wwere gonna havve the landpicnic to end all landpicnics wwhen im through wwith these bloody angels

[Eridan is just going to have to find this bit out the hard way... by indigestion and food poisoning.]

Edited 2012-08-26 06:35 (UTC)

WHATEVER.

[ LIAR, his mind screeches in his usual horrible voice. ]

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR GLORY, FINFUCK.
YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE A PICNIC OF THE AGES.
YOUR TASTE BUDS WILL SING MY PRAISES IN A HOLY CHORUS AS YOU LOUNGE SERENELY ON A BLANKET THAT WAS SPUN FROM THE MEMORIES OF HAPPY PICNICS OF UNIVERSES PAST.
YOUR VERY SOUL WILL BASK IN THE GLORY OF MY SANDWICHES AND UNDERSTAND WHAT REDEMPTION SHOULD FEEL LIKE.
UPON WITNESSING YOUR REBIRTH, PEOPLE WILL POINT TO ME AND SAY,
"JOB WELL DONE."

[ NO WORRIES ERIDAN the good news is that all of Karkat's sandwiches are edible. The bad news is that he constitutes "mashing some bread around an orange" as a sandwich. Any food that can fit between bread is a sandwich to him.

His favorite is tapioca pudding on pumpernikle.

Also despite everything--his irrational anger, his justified anger, the hurt and just general unpleasantness--Karkat is actually starting to look forward to this picnic. Who knows, maybe he'll even enjoy himself.

(Or everything will go wrong and he will rue his life choices. In all likelihood it'll probably be a mix of both enjoyment and hating life.) ]

good
seems youvve come to realize howw to treat someone as fuckin great as myself wwhich may i bloody add its about damn time
if those sandwwiches are as good as youre claimin they are then theyll be a fittin trophy meal to wwhat havvoc ill be wwreakin on these godawwful fuckin angels
the picnic wwill be my bloody feast after a battle wwell fought

[Karkat... Karkat no. That is not a sandwich and you are setting Eridan's stomach up for disappointment. It goes without saying he'll enjoy the company on some land-picnic, most definitely, but by god he is not going to partake in those sandwiches! So much for his glory feast!]

Edited 2012-09-04 18:21 (UTC)

[ Wow you can't see it but he's rolling his eyes so hard they might pop out of his skull ]

ONLY THE BEST FOR ARROGANT ANGEL-SLAYERS.
I LEARNED SANDWICH MAKING FROM THE EMPIRE OF SANDWICH FACTORIES HIMSELF
SO YOUR BLOOD FEAST WILL BE FITTING FOR THE OCCASION.
ACTUAL BLOOD SANDWICHES WILL BE AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST.
AND I THINK I STILL HAVE SOME OF THAT FIRE JUICE JAPAN LEFT BEHIND.
SAKE OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

[ HUSH ERIDAN JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU TRY THE CHOCOLATE PUDDING AND BISCOFF COOKIE SANDWICH IT WILL BE DELIGHTFUL. The rest probably not so much. Oh well, at least Karkat has promised some company.

And who knows. Maybe this will help Karkat mend his unresolved issues with Eridan and himself. God knows he's fucking lonely on that meteor. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

1st ♒ Text

text; ilu

text; THEMS FIGHTIN WURDS and by that I mean <3

text; >:I <3

1/2 text; ):<B <3

In person?

In person!

In person!

no subject

2/2 text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;

text;