1st ♒ Text

[unconchonable]

i dont rightly feel i owwe anyone wwho might be residin in this place a damn introduction but ill alloww this one exception
be grateful
im eridan ampora prince a hope and i knoww damn wwell i deservve a full explanation elucidatin wwhere and wwhy im in this wworld
this is hardly evven wwithin a close proximity a wwhere i should be and wwhile im not outright complainin about these unexpected turn of evvents i feel it wwithin my fuckin right to be informed a wwhere i am and wwhy
is there evven anyone i knoww here
ivve my staggerin doubts on that though
pretty damn sure theyre all back on that horrid meteor wwith their alienatin pretentious self-absorbed attitudes
or maybe just dead
either wway is this evven truly reachin anyone

Comments

[text]

[liquidate]

Oh, it's reaching, but I'm not sure you want it to~

[text]

[unconchonable]

wwhy the wwhale fuckin shit wwouldnt i

[text]

[liquidate]

Because some people should be avoided, you know?

[text]

[unconchonable]

alright true enough but i dont evven knoww wwho i should avvoid
or that i really evven WWOULD avvoid anyone
so are you tryin to wwarn me or somethin
is that wwhat this is

[text]

[liquidate]

Warning someone that their life is in danger would imply that I care!
Buuut, I'm a generous guy, so how about I let you ask me questions?

[text]

[unconchonable]

at least that sentiment is mutual i suppose
alright wwell if youre plannin on bein useful im not about to turn that dowwn
wwhere am i wwhy am i here howw did i evven showw up here to begin wwith
wwhat the fuck am i evven usin right noww it looks like some cheap earth imitation of wwhat wwe trolls got for technology and lastly wwhat people should be avvoided

[text]

[liquidate]

Alrighty. So I sifted through the questions and some are useless, so I'll answer the ones I feel like:

You're on a planet called Fort Tuna. Discedo's the city you're in. It's all a shit-hole, ps. Have fun.
And the thing you're using is an electronic letter-sending device. It's bulky, annoying, but stylish and helpful!
I got mine in purple, it's fucking cool and you look like a guy (I think you're a guy) who enjoys purple.

I'll let you figure out who oughta be avoided. Life's about learning from your mistakes~

[text]

[unconchonable]

fuck you none a them wwere useless but FINE

fort tuna
are you kiddin me wwhat sorta fuckin name is that
yes i am a guy and yes i enjoy purple
its my fuckin blood color after all and the best damn color there is
wwell i guess just under tyrian but wwhatevver
mines purple as wwell seems wwhoevver brought me here kneww wwhat they wwere dealin wwith at least

wway to continue to be fuckin useless sure you answwered some questions the easy ones that anyone could answwer
leavvin me needlessly in the dark about somethin that might actually be relevvant
but fine i can figure that out and im wwell awware a life and its mistakes thank you vvery bloody much

[text]

[liquidate]

Listen, bitch. You're the one in need of assistance here and I'm delivering.
Don't act high and mighty just because you bleed purple - which is SUPER ENTICING.

I'll tell you one thing you need to know for sure:
YOU HAVE A CHIP IN YOU BLOCKING ALL POWERS YOU MAY HAVE HAD.
So I wouldn't mess with the general population, or me.
That answers two questions.

[text]

[unconchonable]

wwho the fuckin shit are you callin a bitch you wworthless sandsucker
and youre mistaken if you think for one bloody second i NEED anythin from you
im merely takin wwhats fuckin OWWED to me theres a difference

but a chip
wwhat fuckin chip and wwhere is it and howw do i get rid of it
but more importantly wwhy the fin flippin fuck should i believve this claptrap as anythin other than the fictitious bullshit its makin itself seem to be

[text]

[liquidate]

With an attitude like that, you're more likely to get murdered!
You should start being a little bit more grateful.
I don't even know what a sandsucker is.
But it sounds derogatory.

See, you're asking all these questions now, man!
Think I'm gonna answer em all when you don't even say please?