discedo | ≈ first breath; voice

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≈ first breath; voice

[Static starts across the voice feed, followed by some mumbling. It seems someone accidentally clicked it on while they were fiddling with the device.]

Dude, do you remember alchemizing these? I don't remember anything like this in my sylladex... Man, speaking of, where is my sylladex?

Why are you asking me? My sylladex launched my sword into the closest tree it could find. Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to yank it out with a broken foot? Thanks by the way. I really wanted my toes to get touchy with your hammer. You don't even know. I'm going to get some heinous infection all up in this shit and you're going to have to amputate my foot to save my life or something. Except I refuse, but then we'll get attacked by a swarm of who the fuck even knows and tragically take them down, going down with them. You'll weep over my bloodied corpse. Why Dave? How could you leave me? You were the only bro I could have ever had such a rad bromance with. Now I have nothing. Sweet delicious tears. [Yeah, Dave has no idea where he's going with this too.]

[There's a snort and laughter from the other voice, and even without seeing it's pretty obvious someone is rolling their eyes.]

That didn't even make sense, Dave! But I guess I am sorry that the princess got his foot broken by a hammer that is not even that heavy. Can you ever forgive me?

I take offense to that. How dare you not keep my fragile, maiden tendencies to heart. I have a very delicate complexion going on. But I'll forgive you because I love you. Seriously though, where the fuck are we? I'm two years too early to be wherever we're supposed to be. Fuck if I know. Everything is kind of vague and I think I stopped giving a shit or two since nearly being a victim of trashy novels involving foursomes.

[There's a rustle of fabric. Dave had plopped down next to John, even if you can't see it.] What are you doing?

I am trying to figure out how this thing works. And I am pretty sure I am three years too early to be at the new session. Jade said it would take that long and I just sent you guys that letter. And isn't it kinda weird that we are the only ones here?

[There's more rustling as John fiddles with the functions, turning the communicator over in his hand.] Whoa! I think this thing is on.

Oh my god. You didn't get to see Karkat freak out. It was like the most embarrassing thing. You literally nailed him in the face and he had some major mental breakdown and everything.

Oh shit really? Ok. That's cool I guess. Ask someone where we are. Also if they have a can opener.

Haha, oh man, really? That sounds like something worth seeing! Ok, ok, uhh... Hello? Can anyone hear us? [He's not going to ask your dumb question about the can opener, Dave.]

[ooc| john is in blue, dave is in red!]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I'M NOT MELODRAMATIC.
I'VE LIVED WITH MELODRAMATIC AND UNTIL THE DAY I GET A DOUCHEY CAPE AND WHINE ABOUT LIFE, I AM NOT MELODRAMATIC.

AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
MEMORY LOSS IS COMMON AND, AS FAR AS I'VE SEEN, DOESN'T RESULT IN PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE.
NO MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE ANYWAY.

PERSONALLY I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU VISIT.
BY THAT I MEAN
YEAH THAT WOULD BE COOL.
I DON'T MIND.
BUT I'LL WARN YOU THAT OUR HIVE IS KINDA A MAJOR SHITHOLE.
HALF THE FUCKING WALLS ARE MISSING BECAUSE SOLLUX HAD PSYCHIC EYE-DIARRHEA AND BLASTED EVERYTHING TO SHIT.
THEN THERE WAS THE FLOOD THAT FUCKED EVERYTHING UP FURTHER.
AND THERE'S A MILLION OTHER TINY, EQUALLY AWFUL REASONS WHY THIS HIVE HAS BECOME A HAZARD ZONE
NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THE FACT THAT TEREZI NOW LIVES HERE.
HER MERE PRESENCE IS LIKE MULTIPLE RAZOR BLADES IN THE THORAX.

Oh, well yeah, but that's more like a title than a name. I just have the one name, I'm pretty sure. And yeah! I know Terezi. Kinda. She's sort of back from where I'm from?

you are pretty melodramatic, dude!
dave is too, though.

haha, maybe you should just visit us instead.
but i'm sure it's not as bad as you make it sound, so i will be sure to visit sometimes too!
it would be cool to hang out with you and terezi, anyway.

She is? Interesting... I was wondering if there were any humans in her world, but I never really bothered to ask.

shaking in my boots already
how did you even know
also yes
he kind of is an asshole
you guys didnt have like
troll batman or something?
no superheroes to make your sad existences a little more interesting
damn

i look forward to it
no worries
watch you as you raise up onto your iron throne
which sounds like it would be cold
better get cushions for that shit
while i slowly spiral out of control
losing my grip on everything
etc
how will i ever handle it
idk
probably just sleep and be like
karkat has a throne
cool story bro

Of course.

[He will win. Mark his words, John.]

I'm not the one into really terrible movies. All my tastes in things are refined and flawless.

Jesus, my life flashed before my eyes for a minute. Multiple Daves is one thing, but I don't think I could handle more than one John. That's basically asking the world to implode on itself from the sheer amount of dork that would exude from them both.

[Dave stares up at the large building.]

Does anything abnormal happen around here?

[That's at least reassuring.] Do people here just remove it for you? Assuming they can even find the chip. Or is it some magic pixie dust bullshit and suddenly, bam. Gone. Have fun with the side effects.

Are you just ridiculously strong or something? Most people do not casually come up to me and tell me they can open my cans via the ripping of the tops with hands. It's usually not standard issue. Hell, this is probably the first time.

[Oh. There's a lot of hard to pronounce names here. Fuck his life sideways.] I like to think I don't. But there's a few people who'd say otherwise.

wow
forget i even mentioned that
was not expecting some longwinded reply back about the universes ending at the sheer thought of us not fucking with each other
i mean
believe it or not
i know how to give space once in awhile
its a very rare occasion
once in the blue moon
but sometimes i just get those feels where im like
yo dawg
gotta back up a bit
karkat is losing his shit
better leave him in his fit
let him gather all his wit
...
anyways
yeah i get it
got it
good

k
cool story
i will just believe you when you tell me things
you will be irrationally angered for no reason
i thing i can dig this

that sucks
you didnt die before did you?

[Concerned? Oh hell no. He's not concerned. That's silly talk.]

uh
rabies is a disease and you cant bite it
believe it or not
i mean you can bite whatever has it
but i really would advise not to
they dont usually take to being bitten
nor should you bite them
im all for testing fate and all
but thats ridiculously stupid

...[That...was really terrible.]

You're fucking insane. But it sounds like you already know that, holy shit.

I'm not familiar with the 'sci-fi movies' but yes, that is one of my abilities. As for this building, not to my knowledge but I don't live here. The ones who reside here would give you more information.

Well if you spend 50 years alone, starving in the middle of nowhere, with no hope of ever seeing another living soul, you might start to go a little mad too. Yohohoho!

[He practically became the mayor of can town]

Guess you could say that. Sorry, I didn't know it was weird thing to ask. [ He's... Really not around people much. He scratches his cheek. ]

Alright, well you don't seem the type right now. So call me what you want, doesn't matter to me.

It is kind of complicated. We are from different universes but can talk to each other over Pesterchum. I don't think their world had humans, though.

[Nope, John is going to win!!]

They aren't terrible! They are really great.

Oh... so you sort of space traveled or something then?

What other kind of stuff can you do?

[John casually shoves Dave because wow!! Rude, two Johns would be awesome. 8/]

We can ask Karkat and Terezi about it since they live here.

Not really, unless entering the game counts? And we were about to space travel before we got here, but I never got to meet any of the trolls in person! Dave did, though.

Oh. I see... so you knew them pretty much through a similar communication network as the one we are currently using then?

EVERYONE WITH A CAPE IS MELODRAMATIC.
YOU HAVE TO WAIT THREE DAYS BEFORE YOU CAN OWN A CAPE SO THAT THE OWNER CAN DO A BACKGROUND-CHECK TO MAKE SURE YOU ENGAGE IN ABSURD THEATRICS.
IT'S PART OF THE REGISTRY PROCESS.

I HONESTLY CAN'T IMAGINE THAT YOUR TEMPORARY HIVE IS GOING TO BE ANY WORSE THAN MINE.
AND NO.
I'M NOT EXAGGERATING.
IT IS SO AWFUL.
IT'S REMARKABLE THAT I HAVEN'T DROPPED DEAD FROM THE STENCH ALONE.

YOU SAY THAT NOW
BUT THEN YOU WILL ACTUALLY BE AROUND US
AND YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY REGRET THAT DESIRE.
I'M NOT EVEN BEING SELF-DEPRECATING HERE WE ARE TRULY TERRIBLE PEOPLE.

MY MIND WENT BLANK AS SOON AS I READ "DAWG."
WHATEVER PROCEEDED WAS JUST SO AWFUL I MUST'VE BLOCKED IT OUT AS A COPING MECHANISM.

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION YES I'VE DIED BEFORE.
TWICE.
BOTH AT THE HANDS OF RAINBOW DRINKERS
ALSO KNOWN AS VAMPIRES.
THE FIRST TIME IS KINDA SCARY BUT BY THE SECOND TIME
YOU LEARN TO JUST WALLOW IN BOREDOM AND MUD AS YOU WAIT FOR THINGS TO FADE TO BLACK.
THEN YOU WAKE UP IN PERFECT FUCKING SHAPE.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO SEE JOHN OR TEREZI OR EVEN YOU GET YOUR THROAT RIPPED OUT.
YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I TEND TO FLIP MY SHIT WHEN FRIENDS DIE.
IT'S EMBARRASSING BUT CONSISTENT.

[ He should be concerned because IT'LL PROBABLY HAPPEN AGAIN. also I swear if any other homestucks die he is going to bawl. ]

YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME IF YOU ASSUME I WON'T FIND A WAY TO BITE RABIES.
ANYWAY IT'S TOO LATE I ALREADY BIT THAT OPOSSUM SEVERAL TIMES.
FUCKER DESERVES IT FOR EATING MY FOOD.
I HOPE I GAVE IT EVERY DISEASE POSSIBLE.

WE HAD EIDOLONS
BUT I DON'T THINK ANY OF THOSE WOULD NECESSARILY CLASSIFY AS "HEROES" CONSIDERING OUR CULTURAL IDOLIZED RUTHLESS VIOLENCE.
EVEN "WIZARD PEOPLE, DEAR READER" HAD AN EXCEPTIONAL AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE FOR A WIGGLER BOOK.

THE ONLY REASON I'M NOT CONSIDERING MOUNTING YOUR HEAD ON A PIKE AS A MESSAGE TO MY ENEMIES IS BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY HAD A VALID SUGGESTIONS.
MIGHT INVEST IN CUSHIONS.

Sometimes it happens! Like at Christmas, I think it did.

What's a sylladex?

Jussssst a lil' bit! I sure as hell better not be from yer universe, hahahahaha.

If I was, well...

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

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≈ first breath; voice

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[text] dont start going black for him gosh

[video] Good luck then! uwu)/

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[video] Thanks :D

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[text] sorry dave there is only one person karkat flushes black for: himself

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