text; 01

[legality]

3V3RYTH1NG 1S W3T 4ND NOTH1NG 1S B34UT1FUL
UGHHHHH
UGH
UGH UGH UGH UUUUGHHH

UGH NUMB3R 1
WHY DO3S 3V3RYTH1NG SM3LL SO T3RR1BL3?!?!
1TS L1K3 1 4CC1D3NTLY CR4WL3D 1NTO 4 CO4LM1N3RS ST1NKY 4ND SW34TY 4SSHOL3 4ND 4LSO TH3R3 1S CRUSTY SN1FF NOD3 JU1C3
4ND B4RF
4ND PR3TTY MUCH 3V3RYTH1NG GROSS YOU C4N 3V3R 1M4G1N3
4ND TH3R3 1S NO 3SC4P3



UGH NUMB3R TWO
TH1S 1SNT TROLL14N 4ND WH3R3 1S 4R43N4??
BEC4US3 1M R34LLY ST4RT1NG TO TH1NK TH1S 1SNT TH3 S4M3 DR34M BUBBL3 1 W4S 1N B3FOR3
WH4T TH3 H3CK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY L1F3
1 4M SO4K3D
TH1S 1S GROSS
1 SM3LL L1K3 UGHGUGHGURHU

UGH NUMB3R M1LL1ON
C4N 4NYON3 3V3N R34D WH4T 1M TYP1NG
OR 1S TH4T JUST 4 TH1NG TH4TS NOT OCCURR1NG 4NYMOR3

UGH NUMB3R WHYYYYYYYYYYY
NO S3R1OUSLY
1S 4NYON3 G3TT1NG MY M3SS4G3S??
1TS RUD3 TO L34V3 4 BL1ND G1RL LOST 4ND CONFUS3D, YOU KNOW!!
(1M LOOK1NG 4T YOU K4RK4T
STOP B31NG SO RUD3 4ND T3LL M3 WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S GO1NG ON)





(OR D4V3


OR K4N4Y4 OR ROS3 OR 4NYON3 1N G3N3R3L WOULD B3 PR3TTY D4MN N1C3 R1GHT 4BOUT NOW TH4NK YOU!!!!!)

[ Translation: EVERYTHING IS WET AND NOTHING IS BEAUTIFUL
UGH x a large amount
WHY DOES EVERYTHING SMELL SO TERRIBLE
ITS LIKE I ACCIDENTLY CRAWLED INTO A COALMINERS STINKY AND SWEATY ASSHOLE AND ALSO THERE IS CRUSTY SNIFF NODE JUICE
AND BARF
AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING GROSS YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE
AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE

UGH NUMBER TWO
THIS ISNT TROLLIAN AND WHERE IS AREANA??
BECAUSE I AM REALLY STARTING TO THINK THIS ISNT THE SAME DREAM BUBBLE I WAS IN BEFORE
WHAT THE HECK

UGH NUMBER FUCK MY LIFE
I AM SOAKED
THIS IS GROSS
I SMELL LIKE URHGURHUGHRUH

UGH NUMBER MILLION
CAN ANYONE EVEN READ WHAT IM TYPING
OR IS THAT JUST A THING THATS NOT OCCURRING ANYMORE

UGH NUMBER WHYYYYYYYY
NO SERIOUSLY IS ANYONE GETTING MY MESSAGES??
ITS RUDE TO LEAVE A BLIND GIRL LOST AND CONFUSED, YOU KNOW!!
(IM LOOKING AT YOU KARKAT
STOP BEIGN RUDE AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

OR DAVE
ORKANAYA OR ROSE OR ANYONE IN GENERAL WOULD BE PRETTY DAMN NICE RIGHT ABOUT NOW THANK YOU!!! ]

Comments

[shadesofred]

[ Took a while to decipher but SHE IS LITERALLY JUST LAYING UNDER TURKEY'S BED WAITING FOR THE WATERS TO RECEDE SO SHE CAN GO BACK TO HER FUCKING HOUSE. ]

It only gets worse from here on out!

[ so reassuring. ]

You think this is gross, just wait until you find what lives in all the mattresses.

[legality]

WH4TS 4 M4TTR3SS
1S TH4T WH3R3 YOU L1V3

[shadesofred]

...Are you serious?

[legality]

4M 1 SP34K1NG W1TH 4 B34ST FROM TH3 4NC13NT 4ND S3CR3T R34LM OF TH3 M4TTR3SS
P3RH4PS 3V3N TH3 L34D3R OF TH3 B34STS
TRY1NG TO BR1NG H3R P3OPL3 B4CK 1NTO TH3 L1GHT
OR D4RK
WH4T3V3R TH3 OPPOS1T3 OF 4 M4TTR3SS 1S

[shadesofred]

[ this is the part where someone normal would correct her and explain what a mattress really is.

but nope. fuck that. ]

Yep! You've hit the nail right on the head. I'm the Queen of Mattresses! And believe me, I'm the beastiest beast of the darkest dark places you will ever meet.

You see, mattresses, if used correctly, are portals to dreams. But first you have to survive them.

[legality]

SO WH4T H4PP3NS 1F 1
4CC1D3NTLY S3T F1R3 TO M4TTR3SS
4 M4TTR3SS
M4TTR3SS3S???
DO3S TH4T D3F34T YOU 4ND YOUR VIL3 B34ST13ST B34ST13 W4YS

[shadesofred]

Fire only releases the terrors within.

[legality]

3XC3LL3NT

[shadesofred]

My sentiments exactly.

[legality]

BUT 1 4M NOT 4 H34RTL3SS D3STROY3R OF TH3 M4TTR3SS P3OPL3
DO YOU G3T UP TO 4NY N3F4R1OUS SCH3M3S 1N YOUR DR34M T3RROR D1M3NS1ON???

[shadesofred]

Depends what you mean by nefarious. A harmless little mayhem here and there is on the schedule, but if we're talking global take over, you can count me out. Never really been one for evilly ruling over some vast domain.

[legality]

WH1L3 C4US1NG M4YH3M 1T 1S V3RY 1MPORT4NT TO FOLLOW TH3 L4W!
DO YOU FOLLOW TH3 L4W


DO3S TH1S PL4C3 3V3N H4V3 4 L4W??
FUCK 1F 1 KNOW

[shadesofred]

You might just have to make the law. Then we'll see if I'm breaking it or not!

[legality]

WH4T 1F 1 M4D3 YOU 1LL3G4L

[shadesofred]

You can't do that. It's illegal.

[legality]

D3CL4R1NG MY 4CT1ONS 4S 1LL3G4L 1S NOW 1LL3G4L!

[shadesofred]

Drat! You've found my one weakness!

Too bad you're going to have to find me and take me down yourself if you want to enforce your corrupt justice. And let me tell you that I, the Mattress Queen, am a formidable opponent!

[legality]

TH3 M1GHTY DR4GONYYY'D L3G1SL4C3R4TOR R3DGL4R3 H4S NO F34R OF M4TTR3SS3S OR QU33NS!!!!
JUST1C3 1S MY PR1M4RY CONC3RN 4ND 1T W1LL B3 FOR3V3R UPH3LD W1TH 4N 1RON CL4W

UNT1L TH3N
PR3P4R3 YOURS3LF FOR T3XTU4L ROL3PL4Y1NG B4TTL3!

[shadesofred]

I accept. Bring it on, Redstare Lameslacerator!