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[ The following broadcast is presented over an anonymous feed by the Differo Report. Much like television, the broadcasters cannot hear comments made to the post; however characters are welcome to comment and respond. Today's segment will be hosted by bauhinia, dewebbed and fierybluebird. ]

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[His expression goes extra serious however, downright grim even, so it really doubles the impact that his joking is dimmed down for a reason.]

For those who were on the journey with me, this will not come as a shock, merely a painful reminder. However, painful though it may be, such things can be necessary, eh?

[He doesn't manage a grim smile, just adjusts his fake glasses, further stressing the impact that he's gone into serious mode. This is his last warning for anyone who doesn't want the dark and/or painful reminders, or for guardians to cover up little kids' ears. You know: “The War is Terrible and Ongoing” segment.]

This is the second time we've encountered the skin-thieves, a painful reminder of what lurks beyond the borders of the towns we've “conquered.” It's unlikely that this will be the last time either. That said, the best way to know your enemies in this case is to know your friends. They're getting smarter at their disguises, but it's impossible for them to know everything.

Don't venture out that far alone, and make sure you know your companions as close as possible, and keep armed.

On the “bright” side, [Finger quotes get] they cannot copy our unchipped abilities. So you won't have to worry about an impostor phoenix running around. Just the normal one. [THAT he cracks a small smile at. Which is really just extra creepy rather than reassuring given the freaking context. Nevertheless he pauses briefly, realizing now that he's said that, they're like to find a monster that will copy unchipped powers. Then again --] Then again, with the mysterious chip removers on the loose, that is its own mayhem.

By now I think most everyone who died should be back, eh? [Oh... were you all pussy-footing around that? YEAH cat's out of the bag now. Blunt Marco is blunt.] If there are any stragglers, please let me, Kresnik of the Watch, or one of the many doctors know who you're looking for. And I repeat, they will be back soon, unfortunately patience is required, eh?

Aside from death, barren wasteland, and attacks from natives to this world, the journey actually did yield some results.

[He holds up... a toy car.]

The time capsule revealed some cultural artifacts, including a newspaper, a photo album, a newspaper, some coins, and a bunch of shit I don't understand or care about. Oh, and a kickass slinky. That thing is cool as hell. [Worth the deaths however? Not so much.]

Edited 2012-05-05 01:50 (UTC)

I suggest giving the important pieces over to Little Washu should she be interested [.... yeaaaaaah guess who didn't even bother to ask her first if she would be. Hint: he has blue flames and he's always deadpan...] as she can mostly likely compile the data and keep it safe. [In his defense, she offered to do it with regular books, and he figures these are a lot more fragile and therefore both more important and more interesting.] The rest could go in the museum. Though, this is just my opinion, eh. [He's just you know, using his influence as a fake reporter to implant the seeds in everyone's heads.]

While we aren't any closer to discovering what killed all the people of this world – unless it truly just was a combination of the monsters and skin-thieves, we have taken steps to getting closer. [That doesn't really make sense, but just roll with it.] Meanwhile, the cities seem to be determined to turn into an island from the Boin Archipelago. [Oh look a freaky world reference no one will get. Luckily, Marco explains.] Which are these giant plants that pretend to be islands so they can anything foolish enough to land there.

Don't eat the rivers of ramen if you see any folks!

[Marco's jokes suck for timing, but no really, that is a real thing in his world. Seriously.]

No, but seriously, that ramen's not poisonous, it's just the end you have to worry about, so enjoy any rivers of ramen that might turn up. Live it up, I say, just don't eat it all at once.

[How does he say that in deadpan??? Hopefully someone cracked a smile despite the weird and ridiculousness and timing.]

For those of us who were on the journey, I'd like to thank our Captain for getting so many of us out alive, and with the treasure in tact. And for anyone wanting to thank him more substantially, his birthday's tomorrow. [A TOTALLY NOT SUBTLE WINK THERE. Leave it to Marco to disperse warnings about monsters who steal your skin, ways to discern whether you have to kill your best friends, and carnivorous plants and yet also randomly make jokes and mention a Happy Birthday shout out. Totally sane.]

And for anyone who missed out on the journey or parts of it, [On account of being dead :|] don't worry, you didn't miss much. [That gets a smile out of him. A slightly grim one.] Though I think I can safely speak for all us when I say: it'll be awhile before we feel like going in that direction again. If ever.

As a very final note, and my last official one as first mate of the mission, I'd like to remind everyone, no matter what bad things this world puts us through, we will always come out of it eventually alive, whatever the means of that are. It's not something to be taken lightly. Sometimes shit happens, and that cannot be prevented. But getting up again is what matters, and I know everyone here will carry on, eh? Because I saw how you all handled yourselves, and believe it or not, I'm proud of all of you. Thanks for putting some trust in me and helping us all get through it. [He means it more touching than it sounds and takes off the glasses to give a salute. However depressed he's been over the last two weeks, he's grateful for everyone trying to help each other get through it and thus believes in all of you. No forgetting it.] Even when things got rough, you all held your own and didn't give into panic, just continued helping each other out. And for that you should also be proud of yourselves. Whether in the city, or out there. I'm sure we can expect a lot of that in the future as well.

This has been Marco ending out the news. [A glance over to Jack and a nod as though therefore returning the news back over to their anchor for the night.] Jack.

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