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[dewebbed]

[ The following broadcast is presented over an anonymous feed by the Differo Report. Much like television, the broadcasters cannot hear comments made to the post; however characters are welcome to comment and respond. Today's segment will be hosted by bauhinia, dewebbed and fierybluebird. ]

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[dewebbed]

Hey, everybody. [ Jack gives a little wave. He looks pretty tired. ] Welcome to the Differo report!

[dewebbed]

I hope everybody's okay after all that bad weather. It flooded pretty bad, huh? I think everybody made it out okay.

[dewebbed]

But it looks like everything's cleared up. It was even really sunny this week! So hopefully everything dried out, right?

[dewebbed]

So, uh- otherwise there hasn't been too much going on this week. Hopefully that won't happen again.

[dewebbed]

Anyway. Here's Hong Kong with gossip!

[bauhinia]

Hey guys, it's Hong Kong here.

[bauhinia]

I was gonna talk about gossip again, but nothing really gossip worthy's happened. [ This is a lie. ] Hurry up and do something scandalous.

[bauhinia]

I'm kidding, probably.

[bauhinia]

[ Or is he. ]

[bauhinia]

Anyway, so instead, I'm gonna talk about myself for a little while.

[bauhinia]

Not the "me" that most of you know, but the place called 'Hong Kong.'

[bauhinia]

A lot of people think it's an island, but that's not true. Sure, there's an island called Hong Kong Island, but I'm a lot more than that. To the north, there's the Kowloon Peninsula and New Territories. That's pretty much the biggest part of Hong Kong, if you can believe it.

[bauhinia]

And to the west, there's Lantau Island. That's where the airport is. And Disneyland, if you're into that kind of thing. [ Who isn't? C'mon. Happiest place on Earth! ]

[fierybluebird]

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. And those who prefer to be referred by neither term: we'll call you my lovelies. [He arches an eyebrow with a small smirk. Far be it from Marco to pass up any opportunity for a joke, however small, especially given his topic.] Marco here to discuss the journey up the river and back again.

[fierybluebird]

[His expression goes extra serious however, downright grim even, so it really doubles the impact that his joking is dimmed down for a reason.]

For those who were on the journey with me, this will not come as a shock, merely a painful reminder. However, painful though it may be, such things can be necessary, eh?

[He doesn't manage a grim smile, just adjusts his fake glasses, further stressing the impact that he's gone into serious mode. This is his last warning for anyone who doesn't want the dark and/or painful reminders, or for guardians to cover up little kids' ears. You know: “The War is Terrible and Ongoing” segment.]

[fierybluebird]

This is the second time we've encountered the skin-thieves, a painful reminder of what lurks beyond the borders of the towns we've “conquered.” It's unlikely that this will be the last time either. That said, the best way to know your enemies in this case is to know your friends. They're getting smarter at their disguises, but it's impossible for them to know everything.

Don't venture out that far alone, and make sure you know your companions as close as possible, and keep armed.

[fierybluebird]

On the “bright” side, [Finger quotes get] they cannot copy our unchipped abilities. So you won't have to worry about an impostor phoenix running around. Just the normal one. [THAT he cracks a small smile at. Which is really just extra creepy rather than reassuring given the freaking context. Nevertheless he pauses briefly, realizing now that he's said that, they're like to find a monster that will copy unchipped powers. Then again --] Then again, with the mysterious chip removers on the loose, that is its own mayhem.

[fierybluebird]

By now I think most everyone who died should be back, eh? [Oh... were you all pussy-footing around that? YEAH cat's out of the bag now. Blunt Marco is blunt.] If there are any stragglers, please let me, Kresnik of the Watch, or one of the many doctors know who you're looking for. And I repeat, they will be back soon, unfortunately patience is required, eh?

[fierybluebird]

Aside from death, barren wasteland, and attacks from natives to this world, the journey actually did yield some results.

[He holds up... a toy car.]

The time capsule revealed some cultural artifacts, including a newspaper, a photo album, a newspaper, some coins, and a bunch of shit I don't understand or care about. Oh, and a kickass slinky. That thing is cool as hell. [Worth the deaths however? Not so much.]

[fierybluebird]

I suggest giving the important pieces over to Little Washu should she be interested [.... yeaaaaaah guess who didn't even bother to ask her first if she would be. Hint: he has blue flames and he's always deadpan...] as she can mostly likely compile the data and keep it safe. [In his defense, she offered to do it with regular books, and he figures these are a lot more fragile and therefore both more important and more interesting.] The rest could go in the museum. Though, this is just my opinion, eh. [He's just you know, using his influence as a fake reporter to implant the seeds in everyone's heads.]

[fierybluebird]

While we aren't any closer to discovering what killed all the people of this world – unless it truly just was a combination of the monsters and skin-thieves, we have taken steps to getting closer. [That doesn't really make sense, but just roll with it.] Meanwhile, the cities seem to be determined to turn into an island from the Boin Archipelago. [Oh look a freaky world reference no one will get. Luckily, Marco explains.] Which are these giant plants that pretend to be islands so they can anything foolish enough to land there.

Don't eat the rivers of ramen if you see any folks!

[Marco's jokes suck for timing, but no really, that is a real thing in his world. Seriously.]

[dewebbed]

[ A cut back to Jack. He's biting his lip, and takes a moment before he realizes he should speak. ] So...that's it for today. We'll all see you next time!

[dewebbed]

And, uh, everybody wish Luffy a happy birthday tomorrow. Stay safe, guys.

[dewebbed]

[ Hong Kong's gossip box is open for gossip suggestions. IC advertisements can also be sent in when desired. ]

not here, just... IDK MAN.

[straw_hat]

... OI, WHO SQUEALED ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!??!