starspangledhero: (I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL)
✪ A M E R I C A ✪ (Alfred F. Jones) ✪ ([personal profile] starspangledhero) wrote in [community profile] discedo 2012-05-02 05:07 am (UTC)

video; 1/2

[ There is no losing against America LeBeouf. Only delaying the inevitable. ]

No way! I'll have ya know that I'm a hero-- no, the hero of my world! Granted, me saving people usually involves a lot more weaponry and money, but I can just as easily save people with my own two hands.

Are you sitting down? Because I'm about to tell ya a story that'll blow the lid off your reality.

[ He waits for her to sit down regardless if she's already sitting. ]

Now, this one time I was out in the woods, doin' my thing, expanding my territory and all that. That's when I hear this sound: it's a screech, like the sound you make when you get your hand slammed in the car door. Turned out it was a baby eagle!

And it was in the jaws of a bear.

Did I hesitate to save my symbol of freedom and justice? Do gods hesitate when their children cry out for salvation? No. No to both. I leaped in that situation like a badger pouncing on whatever the badger damn well wants to pounce on. I pried that bear's veracious jowls open, freed the eaglet, and snapped its neck for treason. Also because I was low on cash and bear hide earned a pretty penny back in the day.

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