discedo | ( text/action )

-- CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board I AM LITERALLY WASTING MINUTES OF MY LIFE TYPING OUT THIS BULLSHIT --

LET ME TELL YOU A TALE, DISCEDO, AND ALL THE UNFORTUNATE SOULS WHO WERE JUST TRANSPORTED HERE.
I PROMISE TO KEEP IT BRIEF.
LONG AGO I FOUGHT A BATTLE AGAINST A MIGHTY DEMON.
THE DARK DEPTHS OF HELL NAMED IT, ACCORDING TO THE WINCHESTER DUO, "OPOSSUM."
IT HAD TASTED MY BLOOD AND I HAD LIKEWISE TRIED TO BITE ITS FACE OFF
BUT BOTH OF US FAILED TO DESTROY THE OTHER.
WE WERE LOCKED IN A WALTZ OF HATE, AND DEATH WAS WAITING ON THE SIDELINES TO CUT IN.
WHEN I RETURNED TO MY OWN UNIVERSE AND WAS SUBSEQUENTLY SENT BACK HERE, I HAD HOPES THAT THE DEMON HAD PERISHED IN MY ABSENCE.
WITHOUT A PROPER SUPPLY OF SANDWICHES TO ROB AND TROLL SOULS TO WHITTLE AWAY IT SURELY COULD NOT SUSTAIN ITSELF.
OR SO I THOUGHT.
TODAY I REALIZED, TO MY HORROR, THE TRUE FATE OF THE MONSTROSITY:

IT HAS MULTIPLIED.

ITS OFFSPRING ARE CURRENTLY BEING HELD CAPTIVE.
POSSUM DEMON, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU.
LET US SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

FACE ME OR I WILL FEED YOUR CHILDREN TO TEREZI.

BELIEVE ME I'M PRETTY SURE IF I SMOTHER THEM IN VARIOUS SAUCES SHE WILL SWALLOW THEM WHOLE.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jeeze kid, you really are hopeless. I can't believe you haven't killed that thing yet.

[And now it has babies. Does Discedo seriously have to drag his sorry ass back just to look after you Karkat? And yeah, lets say there's Dean, chillin' nearby so they can actually meet this time.]

[ Karkat will be skulking and scowling in all his tiny fury. He scuttles his way closer to Dean, avoiding as much direct contact with sunlight as possible. Well, if it's day time. If it's night he's just scuttling. I DON'T KNOW. ]

Hey, I've been gone fuck-knows-how-long. I didn't have time to give that furry bastard a taste of death before I was whisked away back to my own fucked up absurdity of a universe. It must've recuperated and reorganized while I was busy dealing with more important shit.

[ not even demons are as terrifying as a sober gamzee. ]

[Well hi there little buddy, you aren't expecting a hug filled with red feels are you?]

Uh, it multiplied, so that means it wasn't alone before.

[Gosh, he's not a cruel kind of dude, not usually. But more than one Opossum is bad enough, they carry diseases and stuff. Though he's not even sure those diseases would even EFFECT Karkat. That there is a whole bushel of potentially human harming creatures though. Maybe he can just... relocate the little bastards?]

For all you know the mom might have abandoned them. But maybe if you take'em somewhere else she won't come back and bother you.

[ No, but it's always better than being greeted with a stabbing. ]

I don't claim to know anything about possum reproduction.

[ See, Dean, your plan is too logical and easy. That is its problem. ]

Better not have been abandoned, otherwise there'd be no fucking point to holding these things hostage. Goddamn, this demon is more callous and ruthless than I originally thought if it leaves its own offspring to the uncaring world.

[ His scowl deepens. HE'S UP AGAINST A TOUGH FOE, CLEARLY. ]

I'll give it some time to respond to my threats, then I'm just feeding its young to Terezi.

That's probably for the best, they're ugly sons of bitches. [Aka you don't want to see them reproduce.]

[If only Sam could see him now, being all logical. He was always easy though. ~~badum-tsh~~]

There is always that. [ But Ew. ]

Just better hope they won't give your friend some disease. Unless you don't care much about that.

[ Karkat rolls his eyes. ]

I'm pretty sure her entire cell structure is in an endless cycle of phagocytosis. The second something else appears, it's devoured on the spot. The only reason her body hasn't imploded on itself and taken down the universe around is because of the thin fibers of justice that hold her together.

...Don't try to think about my convoluted imagery too much, I stopped listening to myself halfway through that shit.

[ But if you look closely (no one ever does), there is a tinge of concern to his frown. ]

Anyway, it's not like she couldn't get better.

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